


Never Enough

by neveronceagain



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:49:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 24,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29577069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neveronceagain/pseuds/neveronceagain
Summary: Valerie and her classmates are sent on a last minute field trip to the smokey mountains but things head south when they return home to find their town completely deserted. Grouping up with a group of kids she had never met before, Valerie and her new friends must find a way to get back home while also trying to stay alive. Along the way, she meets a boy and starts falling in love, a tactic known to get anyone killed.
Relationships: Campbell Eliot/Elle Tomkins, Harry Bingham/Allie Pressman, Luke Holbrook/Helena Wu, Sam Eliot/Gareth "Grizz" Visser
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

It was the last night, for the play that we had been rehearsing for for well... months at this point. I had been giving it my all, staying late into the afternoons writing the pieces for the beginning to teaching the rest of the band kids how to play it. I had never been in charge of something like this before, I had to practically beg the director to let me do it in the first place. I made up some bullshit about how it would seem so much more well rehearsed if the play had real music, instead of just a CD backtrack. I poured my heart and soul out into it, and it came out perfect.

I sat at the back of the stage, after it was all over, putting away my cello and my keyboard, making sure everything was in its place. It was a sad sight, seeing everything we had been working for for months was over just like that, and in a few months, we would all be leaving for college, never to see each other again. I barely had any connection to these people, I had barely been here for a year and being the new girl as a senior did no benefits, but it was still a bittersweet moment.

"There she is," a familiar voice said. I looked up to see Becca, her small body hidden by her gigantic camera, the one she had been using to document the entire process of this play from beginning to end. "How does it feel to be done?"

"I'm kind of sad to be honest," I said, playing along with her documentary-style questions. "It tooks months to get it all together and now it's just... over." I sighed. I didn't expect to be sad, the main reason I had done this job in the first place was to put it on my college apps.

"But it's not completely over for you, is it? A little birdy told me that you got your acceptance letter to Juliard yesterday," Becca said, raising her brows. My stomach knotted itself beyond repair.

"Yeah, I mean, it's everything I had been working on for years. I'm excited to make my dad proud." I tried to distance the conversation from me, I didn't want to talk about getting into Julliard yet. Everytime I thought about it felt like someone was playing a practical joke on me.

"Your dad? The famous musician?"

"The very same." I laughed, I loved nothing more than talking up my father. I didn't care if it made me seem pretentious, my father had worked for years to get where he was and I was proud of him. The rest of the world should see it.

"Well there you have it folks, Valerie Miller, the one and only true high school musical student, attending Julliard this upcoming fall."

She turned the camera off and sat down next to me, watching me pack away all my instruments.

"I can't believe you got into Julliard, I feel like a proud mom," Becca said. I had always liked Becca, she was one of the few people who I could actually call a friend around here and one of the only people that didn't judge me the second I walked through the front doors of this school.

"I know," I said. "I don't think I've fully comprehended what this means yet. Me. At Julliard... it's crazy."

"How do your parents feel about it?"

"Well my dad is elated of course. He always had hopes that at least one of his children would go on to pursue music. After my first two brothers went off to major in business, I think he started to lose hope."

"Wow," she sighed. "It's going to be so crazy when everyone is gone. You, Cassandra, Harry and everyone else. I feel like I'm going to be all alone."

"That's not true," I said. "You still have Sam." And as if he knew, Sam's head popped up around the corner and came over to talk to us. Another person I can safely say I can confide it. We were able to connect because I was fluent in ASL due to my grandma going deaf as a child.

"Hey," I said/signed. "We were just talking about you."

"Crazy," he replied. "I know I can't hear but my intuition told me that I just had to come interrupt." We laughed and he continued. "I heard you got into Julliard! That's amazing, you must be thrilled."

"I know," I said. "How did everyone find out?" I had told my family to keep the news to themselves until I could fully grasp the concept of me going to the most prestigious music schools in America.

"Please," Becca laughed. "Your sister is telling anyone that would hear her. 'Oh my god you guys, my sister just got into Julliard!'" Becca's imitation of my little sister was definitely spot on.

"I should have guessed," I sighed. It was going to be hell being away from her next year. Ever since we moved here from Seattle, she was the only constant thing I still had around me and despite the three year age gap, she was my best friend. "Its gonna suck to be without her next year."

"At least you'll be close," Sam said. I gave him a weak smile and grabbed my two instrument cases.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow?" I signed goodbye to Becca and Sam and headed for the front of the auditorium. My family had left me alone in case I wanted to say goodbye to the cast, little did they know none of them knew my first name.

I passed by a group of kids, all of them deep in conversation about a party after the play. I recognized my cousin, Harry, sitting with his girlfriend Kelly, swinging his legs like an idiot. He didn't even look in my direction so I kept walking.

"Hey!" Someone shouted. I kept walking, thinking it was part of their conversation.

"Hey!" He yelled again. I turned around and came face to face with a group of boys I knew to be on the football team.

"Hi," I replied hesitantly.

"You were the girl that wrote all the music for the play, right?" The boy asked, pushing his long hair away from his face.

"Um, yeah. That's me," I laughed nervously. I could feel my face start to get warm and I was praying to whatever higher power there was out there that the boy wasn't able to see my red cheeks.

"That was amazing," he said, turning to the guys to make sure they agreed. A chorus of "yeah" and "Amazing" rang about.

"Th-thanks," I stuttered, turning on my heels and bolting through the back door. Normally I wouldn't get this flustered around a boy. I'm usually really good at keeping my composure but for some reason, I thought my whole body went numb.

I pushed open the side exist, desperate to breath in the cool night air by my nostrils were met with the stench of something rotten, like meat gone bad. This had happened once before, less than a few weeks ago but it went away suddenly, without any explanation of what it could have been. I decided to breathe through my mouth and hurried towards the car where my family was waiting for me. My older brothers clapped me on the back, congratulating me on the performance. I was honored that they ever decided to come in the first place, as they were both in college along the east coast doing things that were much more important than an high school play.

My mother was crying, but I wasn't surprised, she was always crying these days. I think the thoughts of being an empty nester in the next few years was starting to catch up to her. My father was practically glowing with pride, talking the entire way home about how proud he was of me and how he taught me everything I know. That much was true. My father had taught all of my siblings and I how to play nearly every kind of instrument, hoping one of us would care enough to do what he does.

My sister, Julia, stayed quiet the whole way home. She had always been hard to read, even for me, but when we got back home, she took me to her room where she gave me a present. "I know they don't normally give these out to the pit band so..." she handed me a shirt where she had embroidered the front with the name of the play and the silhouettes of the main characters.

"Thank you," my voice broke. I didn't have many constants in my life right now but I was sure glad I had Julia here with me. Without her, I don't think I would have made it this far.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days passed by in a blur and the next thing I knew I was saying goodbye to my parents and little sister. The town decided to send us on a last-minute trip to the smoky mountains in order for them to get rid of the smell and the last thing I wanted to do was go on this stupid trip, especially since my sister wouldn't be joining me.

"You're so lucky," my sister started, "I finally started to make friends here and the next thing I know, I have to go back to Seattle and spend the days with Mom and Dad. Apparently we're staying with Grandpa so you know I won't be able to do anything fun."

"Honestly Julia I think you're the lucky one here. I have to spend the next ten days with a bunch of people who barely know my name and our cousin who refuses to talk to me in the hallways," I say in an exasperated tone. 

"At least you have Becca right? I know you two aren't best friends but..." her voice trailed off. I think she knew that whatever she was trying to do wasn't making me feel any better.

"I mean I guess. But she has other people to be friends with. Some that a probably a lot more interesting and cool than I am."

"You have got to stop putting yourself down all the time. I think you're pretty cool." She was smiling. I smiled back even though I knew she only said that because she was my sister.

"Thanks." I gave her one last hug before looking at my parents. "I hope you know that I hate you both so much right now."

"Sweetheart," said my mom, "we're only making you go because we think it's a little weird how you haven't made any friends since we moved here last year. You don't even try to make an effort with your cousin."

"Because my cousin thinks he's the king of West Ham," I said. "I wouldn't have talked to him back home either."

"Valerie Grace you don't talk about family like that," my father said. He even used my full name. I don't even know why he cares. He's not even related to them by blood.

"Doesn't make me feel any better," I turned on my heel and left them standing there.

"We'll see you in ten days!" My dad yelled after me.

"Can't wait!" I cried back. I never said goodbye. I never said I love you. This was the moment that would haunt for months.

I sat in the back of the bus alone, which I didn't mind, and listened to my music. Becca gave me a wave and texted me asking if I wanted to sit in the empty seat next to her and Sam. I texted her back politely declining and that I was tired. All she said was ok.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eventually, the bus became silent, the sky went dark and everyone fell asleep, myself included. I was woken up when the boy sitting in front of me rubbed my arm. My eyes burned when I opened them to the blinding lights of the bus.

"We're home," he said.

"What? How is that possible?" I asked. I'm pretty sure I would have realized that ten days passed and it was time to go home.

"I don't know. Does it look like I made the rules?" He turned around and left me alone.

I checked my phone and saw the time was 2:30 a.m which means my parents were long gone on their flight to Seattle to visit family. The other students began to slowly come to and grab their belongings; many of them seemed as confused as I was which made me feel a little better. After about five minutes of disgruntled teenagers moaning about how tired they were, we all pooled onto the empty green grass and the busses left us alone.

The silence was so strong it rang in my ears. There were no parents there to greet their children and no cars on the roads. Even the animals and insects seemed to be sleeping.

Almost simultaneously, everyone pulled out their phones and called their parents but I didn't bother, I already knew my parents wouldn't be here to pick me up. Just as quickly as we all got off the busses, we all left to go back to our homes.

I put my headphones back in and began the long walk back to my house alone. It was a nice night - the air was cool and there was a slight breeze - it was peaceful. That was until my cousin came rolling up in his silver convertible and laid on the horn. "Hey," he yelled. "Valerie!"

I pulled my earbuds out and gave him a death stare. "What do you want, Harry?"

"Where are you going?" Oh my god please leave me alone.

"Home. Where else would I be going?"

"Do you want a ride?"

"No, thank you."

"C' mon. You live right next to me. It's the least I can do."

I stood there for a moment and thought long and hard about his offer. "Fine. But you're taking me straight home. To my house," I stated firmly getting into his car.

We rode in silence. An awkward silence but it was better than having to talk to Harry; I'm scared the only thing that will come out of his mouth is moths.

We passed by the downtown part of West Ham, past the convenience stores and the smaller houses before entering into our neighborhood. He pulled up to my gate and punched in the code to open the doors. I don't know how he knows the numbers but I also didn't care enough to ask.

After what felt like hours, Harry and I pulled up to my front door as just as I was about to leave, Harry asks, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Well you just did so I'm assuming you're gonna ask me another?"

He stared at me in disbelief.

"Yes. Fine. You can ask me a question."

"Why do you hate me so much?"

To say that question hit me like a ton of bricks was an understatement. I never liked Harry but having him ask me that made me feel like the bitch that crawled out of the seventh circle of hell. "I don't hate you, Harry-"

"Well then what is it? Hmm? Every time I try to make conversation with you, you just walk away. I tried inviting you to my parties and I tried to introduce you to my girlfriend but you keep pushing me away. I just want to know why. What have I done to make you hate me so much."

"Harry I don't hate you I swear." I took a deep breath, "It's just hard for me to be around you sometimes. To see you surrounded by friends constantly and people who love you."

"It's not hard to make friends here. Especially you. I've known you since... forever basically and it's never been a problem for you. You're kind of a bitch but that hasn't stopped you before, so I don't understand what's so different about this place."

"Because I had friends back home! I had the life you live now where I was born, back in Seattle. I feel like I'm betraying all the people I love back home." Harry gave me a sympathetic smile, something I've never seen from him before. "I know it sounds dumb but sometimes it hard for me to accept that this is my life now. It's also hard for me to be your friend because honestly, you're just a ass most of the time."

Harry chuckled. "Yeah. I guess I deserved that one. I'm sorry, okay? I never meant to be ass."

"Yeah well you have a funny way of showing it."

"So do you. Ever since you moved here you've been a grade A bitch to me and to everyone around you."

"I have not!"

"Really? Ask anyone and they'll say they're terrified to approach you because they're convinced you're the devil incarnate or something like that."

"I don't try to be," I muttered, looking out the window to my empty dark house.

"I know."

Again, the world around us was enveloped in silence. This time it was less awkward but I took it as my queue to leave.

"I'll see you around Harry," I said as I grabbing my bags and opening my door.

"See ya."


	3. Chapter 3

I watched Harry pull out of my driveway and away from my house. He lived across the street, and had offered numerous times to drive me to school since I never passed my diver's test, but I always refused. I felt kinda stupid then, knowing he was just trying to be nice. 

My house was empty and the silence was too loud for me. No one was here, it didn't even look like they had packed. There were still dirty dishes in the sink and they had left several lights on around the house. I decided to call them, try to fill them in on everything that's happened and how I would be spending the next ten days alone in West Ham. All the phone did was ring. No dial tone. It never even went to voicemail. I wasn't fazed. I just assumed there was something wrong on their end.

I gave up after two minutes of continuous ringing and decided to handle that problem in the morning. There was nothing my family could do now that I was going to be home alone for the next ten days. I decided to text them instead, just to let them know I was okay and that we had no food in the house and how I was sorry I would have to use the credit card to buy myself something to eat.

I sent the text and all of a sudden my phone was blowing up with text after text from people I didn't recognize. It seemed like I was added into a group chat with all the kids from the school trip, all who couldn't seem to reach their parents either. The only numbers I recognized where Becca's and Sam's; I assumed they were the ones that added me into the chat.

Everyone was in a panic. Saying no one was home, the cars were still in the driveway and all their clothes were still in the closets. No one could get ahold of anyone that didn't come on the trip with us, not even relatives that lived outside of the town. No one's texts were sent either, all showing an error message. The TVs didn't work and the internet was down in everyone's house, needless to say, we were all in a panic.

Finally, someone said we should all meet up outside the school, the only person I could think of smart enough to do that was Cassandra and I decided I should go too. Even though I don't know anyone it would be nice to see we're all on the same page for once.

~~~~~~~~~~

I took my bike there even though I had the option of driving a car. I decided that even though everyone else in the town was gone, it wasn't wise of me to be driving without a license, even though there's apparently no one around for me to crash into.

It was weird being so alone on the streets at night. The streetlights were on and the only sound came from people's houses, no insects, no animals, no cars.

It took me about twenty minutes to get there and it seems like I was one of the last to arrive. Everyone was huddled in the middle of the green talking about how they cound't reach their parents or their siblings. A couple of girls were even crying.

I met up with Becca and she apologized for adding me into the group chat.

"Please stop," I said. "It's really no big deal. I wouldn't have known to come here if it wasn't for you."

"Yeah," she smiled. "I thought about texting you separately but I realized that so many other people thought it was weird their parents weren't home either."

I smiled at her and realized how lucky I was that she was my friend. Even though we're not that close, she obviously still cares enough about me to include me in the drama.

"Hey, so who decided that we needed a flash mob?" a boy asked walking on to the grass.

"I did," Cassandra said.

"What the fuck, Cassandra?" He said.

"Better than everyone sending texts," she explained. "Has anyone been able to reach anyone?"

A chorus of "No's" echoed throughout the crowd.

"No one?" Cassandra asked.

"No," we all repeated.

"Okay. Well, there's definitely a simple explanation. Um... like they were evacuated after we left and there was a miscommunication, and we were brought here by mistake."

"Someone would still answer a phone," Harry's girlfriend said. I think her name is Kelly or something like that.

"Maybe they're asleep? I don't know. Maybe they got put someplace with no reception. Like a shelter with no reception or something." Cassandra paused. "In the morning someone will answer a phone."

"Maybe it's not safe for us to be here if they all left," a girl chimed in.

"A couple of hours isn't gonna make a difference," Cassandra said. "We'll figure this all out in the morning! Right now we should just... go home. Yeah, we should go home. And anyone who doesn't want to... be alone can come back to our place right?" She looked at Allie who nodded.

"Is that your advice Cassandra?" Harry asked annoyingly.

"Yeah. Yeah, Harry, yeah. Just go to sleep."

I gotta admit, that advice is pretty shit. Everyone began to talk amongst themselves, mostly about how they didn't like what Cassandra said or how it's amazing that their parents aren't home. Eventually, people talked about throwing a party because there was no one around to say no. That party soon became the plan and girls ran home to get changed and boys went out to get the alcohol.

I decided to stay for the party. There was no point in me going home.

Beers were passed around the lawn and someone brought a speaker. The party was quiet and contained until two football players open up the church doors and scream, "The fucking church is open!"


	4. Chapter 4

Within seconds the church was filled with sweaty teenagers chugging beers and doing shots off of numerous body parts. No one even seemed to notice they didn't know my name or who I was and for the first time since I got here, I didn't care who I was with or where I was. I had fun. I did shots with girls I had never seen before and drank cheap beer with boys who didn't even know I existed. 

Unfortunately, my fun didn't last. About an hour in I had consumed too much liquor for my body to handle and couldn't feel my fingertips anymore. The room was like a carousel and I was stuck on the outside, forced to watch it spin around and around. I stumbled up the stairs to the church balcony to get away from the other people. Even the smell of them makes me want to projectile vomit. 

I danced around the choir benches and hummed to myself to help get my mind off the fact that I have never felt worse in my entire life. I sat on the floor and rested my head on the cushioned seats. The ground was cool and I took my shoes off so as much of my body could feel the ground's cold touch. All of me was sweating and I'm pretty sure it was not a good look. 

"Are you ok?" a boy asks. I open my eyes and noticed it was the same boy from the greene.

"Super," I mumbled. Talking was making my head hurt even more. 

"What's wrong? Can't hold your liquor?" he chuckled.

"No. Not really. It seems I really lack the British gene that lets me chug an entire kegger."

"Well, I don't really think that would be healthy for anyone." I laughed at his pathetic joke, which made me hurt all over. 

"Yeah, probably not," I paused, "what's your name?"

"Uh- Grizz." 

"Is that your real name?"

"No."

"Okay," I giggled. "I'm Valerie," i shoved my hand in his face but I ended up dropping it before he even had the chance to shake it.

"Is that your real name?" He asked as he sat down on the bench in front of me.

"Yes." 

Looking at him up close made me realize how cute he was. He had a handsome face spattered with freckles and he had nice eyebrows. His hair was longer than most but it framed his face. I couldn't tell if it was me or the immense about of alcohol in my system telling me that everything about this boy made my heart go full speed ahead. Probably a mixture of both at this point. All of a sudden, it came rushing back to me. 

"What are you looking at?" He asked pulling me out of my trance. 

"Huh?"

"You've been staring directly at me for like two minutes..."

"You're the guy from the play," I said. He looked confused. "No not the actual play but you were in the audience. You told me you thought that me composing the music for it was amazing and I said something stupid and ran out the front door."

He laughed and slid to the floor, accompanying me against the railing. "That was me. I thought you didn't remember."

"I didn't until just now," I paused, swallowing the bile rising up in my throat. "My brain is a little bit fuzzy," I said, putting my head between my knees.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, concern filling his voice.

"Not really, no. I don't think I've ever been this drunk in my life. I just thought I'd lay up here and wait for the sweet release of death." I started laughing at how stupid I sound. Grizz laughed along with me.

"Don't worry. You won't die on my watch."

I closed my eyes again and we sat together in silence for I don't even know how long. Grizz started to rub my head which started to make things worse but I didn't have the heart or the energy to tell him to stop. 

Finally, I opened my eyes and felt like I was finally ready to go home. 

"I think I'm gonna go for a walk," I said while clumsily standing up. The room had gone from a racetrack to slow bike race. "Try to uh... make the room stop spinning, ya know?" No. I honestly don't know. Who the fuck actually knows what I'm trying to say right now because I don't.

"Yeah. Sure. Are you okay to walk alone?" Grizz asked with a concerned tone. 

"Oh yeah, don't worry about it. Please don't let me keep you. Go have fun with your friends."

"Okay, okay. Whatever you say. Hopefully, I'll see you around."

"Yeah. Let's hope I don't die on the way there. That would really suck," I laughed. After seeing the horrified look of Grizz's face I added "I'm just kidding. Please don't worry about me, I swear I'll be fine."

I turned around and fled as my entire face flared bright red. That was probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. I pushed through sweaty bodies and stomped through what I hope was all alcohol. 

I was met with cool air and a light breeze which sent a chill over my entire body and I instantly felt better. My head felt less stuffy and I was finally able to make sense of what was going on around me. A football player throwing up in the bushes. Harry and Kelly fighting about something. Some girls stumbling around trying to make their way home. 

I took one look at my bike and decided it wasn't worth it for me to walk it all the way today, better to wait until I was sober enough to walk in a straight line before possibly wrecking my only form of transportation. 

Asking Harry for a ride home was out of the question, he was drunker than I was and probably sulking about his fight with Kelly. So my last option was to walk. I pulled up my big girl pants and started my walk home. It would take about an hour but hopefully, I will sober up enough by then so I won't have the worst hangover of my entire life. 

I had barely cleared the church and the sound of the blasting beat before I heard someone running behind me. 

"Sorry," a familiar voice said. "It just felt wrong to let you walk home alone at night." Grizz caught up to me holding two bottles of water. "I thought you could use some company."

"You know, you really don't have to. I don't want to feel like a responsibility-"

"You're not. I wanted to come with you before you even left but you ran away so fast you didn't give me a chance to say anything." He handed me a bottle of water and I stopped to chug half the bottle. "Hey, hey slow down. If you drink too fast you'll make yourself throw up."

"I feel fine, don't worry," I said laughing. 

"At this point, I feel like it's my job to worry about you now."

"You're not my mother, Grizz. You also don't have to walk me home."

"Please don't call me your mother, that makes me feel weird for some reason. So where do you live?"

"Hmm... it sounds creepy when you say it like that," I giggled.

"Well I-I didn't mean to sound-"

"I'm just kidding," I laughed. "Stop taking everything so seriously. I'm stupidly drunk right now. I'm also going to vomit so if you could please turn away so I don't embarrass myself any more than I already have I would really appreciate it," I said turning around and dry heaving into some bushes. 

Grizz pulled my hair back and rubbed my back while I threw up into a bush.

"It's okay, it's okay. Better out than in," he said while continuing to rub my back. I could feel my body shaking and I knew for a fact that there was vomit in my hair.

When I finally finished my business, Grizz handed me a water bottle and told me to drink slowly, or else I would probably throw up again. Basically, the polite version of "I told you so" to someone who probably has alcohol poisoning. 

"So... are you going to tell me where you live or not because how do I know you know you're going in the right direction?"

"I live in Emerson Estates, across from Harry Bingham's house," I mutter, wiping the sick off my face.

"But, Emerson Estates is about three miles away."

"Yea. We should make it there in about an hour if we walk fast enough."

"An hour? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No."

Grizz sighed, seeming to really think about if it was worth it for him to walk me home. "Well, lead the way then."


	5. Chapter 5

"So, Valerie," Grizz said after a few minutes of silent walking. Not gonna lie, it felt nice to just be quiet.

"Yes?"

"Why did your family decide to move here?"

"You really want to know?"

"Well, yeah," he laughed. I guess it was odd to me, to have someone care enough to ask where I came from.

"Okay," I suckedin a deep breath, "so my father always wanted to pursue a career in music. Back in the day, he was this huge rock fan and I'm pretty sure he has hearing loss from all the concerts he went to as a kid. Anyways, he became so intrigued with the rockstar lifestyle that he started writing and producing his own music. He never really got far with it though. My mom got pregnant with my older brother Charlie when she was only sixteen and my dad was seventeen. He gave up everything to do with music so he could find a good job and support my mum."

"I feel like that's how every classic love story starts out," Grizz chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess," I laughed along. "Anyways, my dad got a job working at a music shop teaching kids how to play the guitar, piano, drums, you name it and my dad could teach it. Three years later, he was the owner of the store and he got married to my mom. A year after that my second older brother, Cal, was born and my family was pretty well to do. Not rich by any means bit my dad became the shop owner and my parents were able to start saving money instead of living paycheck to paycheck. Two years after Cal came me and three years later, my little sister Julia. We lived in Seattle up until last year." I took a break, sipping on a little more of the cold water Grizz had given me.

"So you have, two older brothers and a younger sister? I can't even imagine how crazy your house must have been."

"It was crazy, and that was the best part of it. My dad taught all of us how to play the piano and guitar and we would put on concerts for my parents. We even formed our own band and would play for weddings and stuff."

"Okay, okay. So how does all of this tie into you having to move to West Ham?"

"Well, after owning the music store for fifteen years, my mom could tell that my dad wasn't happy with it. She always knew that he really wanted to make music. You know they met because she was his groupie?"

"Is that how she got pregnant?"

"You know, now that you say that, it makes a lot of sense. My mom had gone back to school for nursing and got a job at a hospital so my dad could have more time to work on his music. After a couple of months, he performed for this dude and he got signed to a record label but the only problem was that they wanted my dad to move to New York. Charlie had already gone off to college and so had Cal, he was an overachiever and graduated high school a year early, so my parents only had to worry about my sister and me. My parents wanted something different. After growing up in Seattle, they wanted to move into a house where they could live out their days and die in, so they made a deal with the company that if my dad stayed and worked with them in New York City during the week and they let him drive home to Connecticut every weekend, then he would do it."

"They must have really liked your dad if they agreed to do that."

"They really did," I sighed. All of a sudden, my heart panged with longingness for my father. I missed having him around.

"But why did your parents decide to move to Connecticut? They could have just lived in a different part of New York."

"Exactly what I said. But, we have family that lives in West Ham, and they said we could stay with them while we found a place to live."

"Family? In West Ham?"

"Yeah...Harry Bingham is my cousin," I said hesitantly. I had never told anyone this before. 

"Stop it. You're lying," he laughed. 

"Not in the slightest. His mom and my mom are sisters. Bit of a shame how they had us at the same time and we've spent the better part of eighteen years fighting and hating each other."

"Okay. Now that you say that I can see the resemblance," Grizz was still laughing at this point. 

"No, you can't!" Now I was laughing too. "We look nothing alike."

"Nah. You're definitely cuter."

"Whatever," I said bumping into him. We made eye contact and my heart began to race. "I had to live with Harry for about three months while they built our house."

"Three months?"

"Barely stayed afloat. I was ready to stab Harry in the neck with my cello bow by the end of it."

Grizz laughed again. I like it when he laughs. It's like his whole face just lights up, almost like a Christmas tree.

"Can I ask you something?" he said.

"Of course."

"Do you think it's weird that no one can get a hold of their parents?"

I paused and thought about it for a second. "I mean, I guess. I haven't really thought about how weird it must be for other people. I knew my parents wouldn't be here."

"I didn't," and just like that, the happy smile fell from his face. "My parents wouldn't just leave without telling me first. I went home to an empty house with empty rooms and tables. They didn't even leave a note."

I put my arm around his and said, "I'm sure everything is okay. We'll probably hear back from them tomorrow and everything will go back to the way it was."

"Yeah," he gave a small smile, "I hope so."

~~~~~~~

By the time we got back to my house, the sun was starting to rise over the trees. I had finally sobered up enough so I could see and walk straight. 

"Thanks for walking me home, Grizz. I really appreciate it," I said while standing in front of the door. 

"Yeah, of of course. Anytime."

"Anytime?"

"Anytime." God this sounds like one of those John Greene books.

"Okay. I'll see you around I guess."

"Wait. Can I see your phone?" he asked right before I opened the door. 

"Why?"

"I mean, how will I know you need someone to walk you home if you don't have my number?" 

"You're absolutely right," I said handing over my phone. I mean, how could I not? That was the smoothest shit I've ever heard. 

He gave my phone back to me and waved a small wave before walking down my driveway.


	6. Chapter 6

The first thing I did when I got to my room was take off every article of clothing that was wet and smelled like alcohol, which ended being everything down to my bra and underwear. I looked at myself in the mirror and almost threw up again seeing my reflection. My hair was stuck to the sides of my face from all the sweat and the rest was crusty, either from beer or vomit, I'm not sure which. My eyes were bloodshot and the little makeup I had on was smudged around my eyes. My face was pale and you could see the veins on my eyelids. Everything about me looked like a demon that just crawled out from the depths of hell.

I turned the shower on the hottest it could go and let the water burn my skin raw. I washed my hair about three times before I was finally able to run my fingers through it again and lathered on two different kinds of body wash before I felt satisfied. 

After I finished washing, I sat down on the shower floor with my head between my knees. I let the water pound on my back and my head while I sat thinking. 

Maybe it is weird that I can't seem to get a hold of my parents.

I should try and call Cal when I get out of the shower since he goes to university so close.

Why can't anyone else reach their parents?

What am I even doing here?

I can't believe Grizz gave me his phone number when I looked like I got hit by a train.

Eventually, the water started to run cold and I took that as my queue to get out. I wrapped my hair up in a towel and put on the thickest robe I could find. Since I forgot to close the windows before I left, my entire house felt like the inside of a refrigerator. I was running around my house shivering and closing the windows, which I thought would make me warmer but it really didn't help at all. 

The last room I went into was my sister's. The sun was still rising outside and her room was bathed in golden sunshine, much like she was. No one would believe us if we said we were sisters, let alone related. My sister and my mother were carbon copies of each other, the same with my brother Cal. They all inherited the angel-blonde hair with the pretty gold eyes and skin that would burn if they left a lamp on a little too long. My dad, Charlie, and I were on the opposite side of the spectrum with green eyes, curly brown hair and tanned, golden skin.

I sat on Julia's bed and stared out the window watching the sun come up and simultaneously burning my retinas. I laid my head down on her pillows and felt something lumpy underneath. Reaching under and pulling out something soft, I realized it was her stuffed sheep that she sleeps with every night, and when I say every night, I mean every night. There is no way she would leave the house without it. She must be absolutely devastated that she left it here. 

I put the sheep back under her pillow and closed her windows before heading down the hall back to my room. For the first time since I got off the bus, I actually felt tired. I fell asleep on my bed, on top of my sheets, in my robe, with my hair still wrapped in a towel.

~~~~~~~~~~

My slumber was cut short when my phone began to ring from the bathroom. Feeling like absolute horse shit, I let it ring and ring until it stopped so I could go back to bed. 

~~

My phone rang again and someone began pounding at my door downstairs. Oh for fuck's sake, can't a girl get some peace and quiet to deal with her hangover?

I answered my phone first and began to travel down the hall to the stairs. 

"Hello?" I asked, my voice still thick with sleep.

"Valerie? It's Grizz." 

"Grizz? How did you get my number?"

"You texted me before you went to bed? Anyways are you home because-"

I opened the door to reveal a very surprised Grizz on the other side. 

"Yes, I'm home."

"Yeah... I can see that," he said looking me up and down. "Did I interrupt something?"

It took me a solid five seconds to realize that he was talking about my robe and towel that somehow managed to stay on my head the whole time. "No, No," I started. "I showered ages ago. Speaking of, what time is it exactly?"

"Almost eleven."

"Eleven a.m?"

"Yes?" He looked even more confused before. 

"Jesus Christ that so early... you can come in if you want," I said motioning him in. 

"Have you checked your phone at all? Cassandra is asking us to meet back at the church at noon."

"Does it look like I've checked my phone? Also, I'm pretty sure Cassandra doesn't mean me. I think I've said maybe two words to her since I moved here."

"First of all, there's no need to take your hangover out on me. Second of all, Cassandra asked for me and I thought I should bring you along too," he said walking around my house and opening all the cabinets.

"Ummmm, what on Earth on you doing?"

"Trying to find where your family keeps the Advil so I can shove some down your throat and we can leave." Jesus Christ, when did he become so aggressive. I kinda like it. 

"Upstairs, first door on the left is the guest bathroom. There should be some in the medicine cabinet behind the mirror. Let me go change and make myself look less like me and I'll meet you back down here. Okay?"

"See how much easier life is when you're nice?" he said with a smile.


	7. Chapter 7

After searching through my closet for something to wear, I settled on a long sleeve shirt and shorts. The day was cold, much colder than it should be in early June, only reaching seventy degrees at the most. There wasn't much hope for my hair. Who would have known that leaving curly hair in a towel for several hours wouldn't be the best idea? I decided that braiding it would probably be the best option because it was easy enough for me to do with the limited brain function I had.

My face, on the other hand, needed a whole lot more work than my hair. The dark circles under my eyes seemed to get larger by the second. My eyes were watery and bloodshot and my skin was veiny and blotchy. I decided that everyone else was probably in the same boat as me, and since Grizz has already seen me at my absolute worst, this can't be as bad. So I left myself as is.

I heard a soft knock at my door and Grizz ask if he could come inside.

"Only if you brought painkillers," I huffed and threw myself onto my bed, my head still pounding hard enough to make its own music.

He walks in with a cup full of water and a bottle of pills. "I didn't know how many you wanted," he started, "it says to take two but it also says not so exceed more than eight in a twenty-four hour period. You seem like the kind of person that would take all eight in one sitting so I just brought the whole bottle." The whole time he talked, he had a half-smile on his face, almost like he was proud of himself for coming to that conclusion and for some reason, it made my heart flutter just a little.

"Well, I appreciate the amount of thought you put into this." I actually did.

"So, how many do you want?"

"Hmm... surprise me," I said. Grizz chuckled and handed me three pills.

"What?" he asked when I have him a confused look.

"You only gave me three."

"Yeah. I figured it wouldn't be that great if you died," he explained as I took the medicine and the water.

"Hah. Yeah. That would be a pretty hard one to explain to my parents if they come back."

"If?"

"Hm?"

"You said if your parents come back... not when."

"My bad" I giggled, "I meant when... actually no. I mean if. You never know these days with parents and planes. Every cliche movie about girls with issues starts with their parents dying in some awful accident. Maybe my cliche love story begins with the horrific death of my parents," I said descending the stairs.

"You really shouldn't be so pessimistic. I've heard it's bad for your soul," Grizz said following me close behind.

"Oh, so you're spiritual? I think I like that." I shoved my feet in my comfiest shoes since we were going to have to walk three miles back to the church.

"Oh yeah? I didn't know faith was such a turn on these days," he laughed shoving me out the front door. I noticed a black jeep sitting in my driveway. "Your carriage awaits my lady."

"My, my. And I thought chivalry was dead," I said in my poshest accent while climbing into the open door. I glanced at my reflection in the side mirror and laughed internally at the dumb smile spread across my face. I didn't even care how stupid I looked because for the first time in a long time, I was truly happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'll get a car and go to Greenwich to get help," Cassandra explained.

"Why you?" Harry asked, obviously sporting a massive hangover.

"Someone has to find out where everyone went and we can't all go," she replied with a matter-of-fact tone.

"I'll do it," he said. I don't even know if he realized the words came out of his mouth until he heard them himself. He seemed just as confused as everyone else that he decided to take a stand.

"Because you're sober," Cassandra remarked mockingly.

Harry half-laughed and picked his head up from his hands. "Fuck you, Cassandra." I felt bad for Cassandra because Harry didn't mean it. He was obviously still drunk.

"I can go," I said. No one knew who I was except for Harry and Grizz so they all seemed pretty confused when I offered myself up.

"You don't even have a car," Harry said.

"You don't even have a license," Grizz added.

Two very good points.

"Luke, you wanna see if we can get some of the guys to come with?" Harry slurred. I hope for all their sakes that no one lets him drive.

"Yeah sure. Let's go," the boy who I'm assuming is Luke said, while pulling Harry off the ground.

"I'll go," Grizz said.

"You will?" I asked. Was he really going to leave me here alone?

"Yeah. You'll be fine here, okay? It will only be like five minutes." He looked at my pleading eyes and quickly added, "I promise. Okay? Try and make some friends."

"So this whole thing was a set up for me to make friends?" I asked, folding my arms. 

"I thought you would be better off if you had more than one friend."

"For your information, I have like, four friends now."

"Harry doesn't count as a friend."

"Okay fine. Like three. But three's a good number."

He grabbed my hand. "It will be fine. I'll text you the whole time to let you know what's going on."

Eventually, I had to cave in. "Okay. Fine. But for the love of God, please don't let Harry drive. I would like it if one of my only three friends came back in one piece."

"Oh, I bet you would," he said smirking. "I'll see you later."

Grizz, Luke, and Harry walked away towards the parking lot nearby.

"Look, I don't mean to be rude but I have to ask. Who are you?" Cassandra asked looking at me.


	8. Chapter 8

"Not to be rude but, who are you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pardon?" I asked.

"I'm sorry. You seem really familiar but I just can't put a name to your face," she said. For some reason, I wasn't offended at all. 

"I'm Valerie. Valerie Miller. I just moved here so I'm not really surprised you don't know me.." I trailed off. 

"Wait just a second... you played in the pit band for the play," she looked at my face for confirmation.

I nodded as a response and looked down at the ground. God, why am I being so awkward? I need to make friends. 

"That's so cool," Cassandra said. "I always wished I could play an instrument. I used to play the piano when I was like, five or six. I never stuck with it though. I wish I did."

"Yeah it's pretty fun," I said. What the actual fuck Valerie. Pull it together and try not to sound like an absolute loser. 

"You played the cello right?"

I nodded again.

"Can you play anything else?"

"I can play the piano, the cello, the violin. The guitar and the drums. I tried learning the harp but it's a lot harder than it looks."

She looked at me in awe and it made my stomach flutter thinking about the fact that Cassandra Pressman is amazed at something I can do, considering she's one of the smartest people I've ever met. I mean. She's going to fucking yale. 

"I think Sam said you were going to Julliard? I can't even get over how cool that is," Allie said from the church wall.

I gave Sam a death glare and he signed sorry back.

"Technically I only got a call back for a second audition," I explained. "Basically, I got past the first round and I have to go again to secure my spot. I haven't gotten in yet, but I'm one step closer."

"No offense, but I don't know much about Julliard. What would you be majoring in?" Will asked.

"Depending on what I decide to do, I could do musical performance, which would be for like symphonies or for movies and stuff like that. I could also do musical theory or major in a specific style of music like classical or something like that." 

"But you're leaning towards performance?" 

"I think so, yeah. I feel like it has the most amount of options for me."

"Cool, cool."

And just like that, it was back to an awkward silence as they all looked at me oddly. Scared to say what they really wanted to because I was around.

Thankfully, the sound of our phones interrupted our thoughts before I had to excuse myself to vomit at how disgusting I am. 

You guys have to meet us on the overpass exit

~Grizz

"I can drive," Cassandra said.

Silently, we shoved ourselves into her minivan and drove in silence to the bridge. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

"I mean, there's only so many options," Gordie says. 

"Maybe we're dreaming," Allie says to no one in particular. 

They were talking about the massive wall of forestry surrounding the town. It was thick and full of shrubs and bushes, blocking every exit out of the city. 

"Maybe, this is just some... elaborate fucking game," Harry says. "Like, someone built an exact replica of our town and put it in the middle of nowhere, and if we just walk... like this way or that way," he said getting up and gesturing in different directions, "eventually we'll get back to the real world."

"That doesn't really explain the why version of it though," I said. "Why would someone want to put us in this, 'elaborate fucking game', as you say?"

"Does it look like I would know, Valerie?" he asked with sarcasm dripping in his voice. 

"Hey man, let's just all calm down," Grizz said standing closer to me. 

"Look, I'm not saying it makes any sense," Harry explained.

"There was a smell," Cassandra began, "and then it went away, and it came back, and the busses came for us."

"You're just gonna work this out, Cassandra?" Harry asked. "Like some logic problem? I mean, not a flicker of doubt?"

"Do you see a better option here, Harry?" I interjected. He gave me another deadly glare.

"The world doesn't just turn upside down without a reason," Cassandra tried to explain. "We're not in some play-within-a-play. Okay? Clever is not the same thing as true. There is a point to everything, there are answers."

"That is exactly what I was trying to explain earlier," Grizz mumbled under his breath. I nudged his arm with my shoulder and gave him a questioning glance. "I'll tell you later. It basically has to do with the fact that my friends are a bunch of dumbasses," he chuckled lowly.

"That's right," a girl named Helena said. "God doesn't just play games with people for fun."

"All right, lool, Grizz and I will get a group together and we'll go hike out here through the woods, okay? Like a search party," Luke said looking at Grizz.

"I think that's a good idea," Helena agrees.

"Do you think it's safe?" Cassandra asks. 

"Yeah sure," Grizz responded.

"Grizz knows what he's doing. And if there are people out there, we gotta find 'em, right?" Luke asks. "You know, to get help."

"I'll go," I said looking at Grizz. "You obviously know what you're doing, so... why not?" I said with a smile. 

"It will be a blast."

"I'm leaving. I'm hungry," Harry declared. 

Typical.

"You're...leaving?" Allie asked standing up. 

"Yeah, I got a house with a refrigerator with food inside of it, and I'm gonna go eat it."

"You can't just leave," Cassandra said firmly.

"Well, what are we supposed to do instead?"

"We have to figure out what is happening to us," she tried to explain.

"I agree," I said.

"Nobody asked you, Valerie. And you're not student council president anymore, Cassandra."

"God! You really, really need to get over that!" she yelled with an exasperated tone.

Harry scoffed and turned to Kelly. "You coming with, Kel?"

"No," she said softly. 

"Jesus Christ, just get in the car."

"Leave her alone," Will said.

"Hey, fuck off, Will," he yelled. He looked at Kelly one last time before turning around and heading back to his car. "Fine, who gives a shit."

"Hey, what are you doing," Cassandra asked when Campbell pulled out his phone to take a picture of the woods. 

"I'm just gonna send a text," he said nonchalantly. "Let everybody know how fucked we are."

"Campbell!" Cassandra and I said together. "Don't. Come on, let's think about this."

He looked her dead in the eyes and hit send anyways. I swear that boy is an actual psychopath.


	9. Chapter 9

I forgot how much I hated the woods. At least till I was deep inside covered in mosquito bites and jumping at anything that came flying down from the tree-tops. God. Why on Earth did I agree to hike, and camp, in the woods. I just pray that I don't have to take a shit. Knowing my luck, I would probably get covered in poison oak or ivy or something like that. 

The only good thing about this, the only thing that kept me going, was the fact that Grizz started holding my hand about half a mile back, mostly because of the amount of times I had almost tripped and ate shit, but still. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest I was so happy. I felt like I was in a movie. One of those John Greene novels where the girl is super quirky and doesn't fit in and the boy lives in the shadows but somehow they find things in common and realize that they're meant for each other. Just like that. With obvious and more realistic differences of course. 

Eventually, we all stopped to rest and eat because many of the hikers were still pretty hungover at this point. I sat down next to Grizz and leaned against his side while he shared his pretzels with me. We all sat in silence for a while. The birds sang in the background and the wind would make the leaves fall off the branches and dance in the wind. 

I zoned out and put my head on Grizz's shoulder and watched a butterfly weave between the trees. I almost didn't notice Emily, a girl that went with the group, scream, and fall to the ground. 

Grizz stood up and ran over to her along with Luke and Gwen. 

"What's wrong? What happened?"

"I think I got bit by a snake," she said, holding her ankle. "Is it supposed to hurt this bad?" She asked as her face started to turn stark white.

"Someone grab me a blanket or something so I can prop her head up!" Grizz yelled. I pulled my hoodie off and gave it to him and he laid her down gently. 

"What should we do?" one of the boys asked.

"My tongue is starting to tingle," Emily said, he eyes going in and out of focus. "I can't feel my toes anymore." Grizz looked at me and in that moment I knew that this was no normal snake bite and the outlook for Emily wasn't good. Luke held her hand as her breathing began to become raspy and inconsistent. 

"Do something!" the guy yelled.

"Shush," I said. "Even if there was something we could do, someone we could call or by some chance we could make it back to town to tell the others, what do expect us to do after that? We're not medical professionals."

The group fell silent as we stared at Emily. Her eyes were going in and out of focus and she was mumbling incoherent sentences. 

I brushed the hair off her face and stroked her cheek, hoping to give her some, if any comfort. I knew the whole group was thinking it, even though no one was going to say it. Emily was dying. And there was nothing we could do. There is no 911, no ambulance, no hospitals, no doctors. We were completely alone and this girl was going to die.

Eventually, Emily's breaths became raspy and far apart until finally, they stopped.

"We'll bring her back to town," Grizz said after a moment of silence. Once we get near enough and I have service, I'll ask everyone to meet us somewhere and we can tell them what happened."

"And what happened exactly?" One of the guys asked.

"She got bit by a snake and there was nothing we could do. We walked for hours and we didn't find anything. This isn't our home."


	10. Chapter 10

We walked back in silence, Luke carrying Emily's limp body through the thick woods. Although he would never say it, Luke felt responsible for Emily, like he should have done something more to help her, and I could tell that Grizz felt the same way. The only thing I could do was walk slowly behind them every step of the way. We had walked so far into the woods that night had fallen on our journey back home and the sounds of the night animals could be heard echoing off the trees. 

"Hey Luke?" Grizz asked.

"Yeah?" he responded.

"I keep thinking. About the writing on the wall. The one by the church."

"What about it?" Luke asked, slightly annoyed.

"I keep thinking it must have meant something. Like a message from God. 'You've been weighed in the balance and found wanting.'

"Yeah," Luke said with a sarcastic tone. "That's exactly what God is, a tagger."

Grizz sighed as he continued to lead the way back to the town, occasionally checking his phone to see if he had reception. With every step, my heart grew more and more heavy, as if everything was becoming more and more real. If we stayed out here in the woods, we could pretend that everything was fine, like we were still on the field trip we were meant to go on in the first place and Emily was just faking it. But that wasn't the case. It never is, is it?

"I have service," Grizz announced about ten minutes later. This caused the whole group to stop in their tracks. We all knew what Grizz had to do, announce to the rest of the town that we had barely been gone ten hours and we were bringing back a dead body. 

"Text Helena, tell her to gather everyone and meet at the church. Don't tell her why though, don't want to cause any panic before we have to," Luke said softly, adjusting Emily's body. I can't imagine how heavy she must be, all dead weight. We reached the clearing and continued to walk quietly through the empty town until we made it to the church, were all the remaining residents of new ham had clustered to witness the dead girl. 

A few people gasped in horror when we entered the church, some put their hands over their mouths and some stayed silent, some probably seeing their first dead body. The boys cleared off the altar and placed Emily on there carefully, and everyone crowded around her lifeless body. No one said anything for what felt like forever, just the occasional shuffle of feet and someone sniffing. 

Luke was the first to break the loud silence. "She died from a snake bite," he started. "Her whole body just shut down... we did everything we could but we couldn't save her."

Grizz continued, "So we're going to bury her tomorrow, before it starts to smell." He grabbed my hand before he continued again. "So... I'm gonna need a couple of guys. Clarke?"

"Yeah, no problem," Clarke said.

Silence fell over the church before Luke stated the news everyone was secretly dying to hear. "There's nothing out there guys. Just a whole bunch of... just woods that go on forever. We're all alone. This... this isn't out home."

Everyone stood still as they processed the news that this was in fact, not their home, but some simulation of what they once used to call home. A place that looked, felt, even smelled like West Ham, but not in the same way. 

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Sam walked up to the altar, put his hand on Emily's shoulder before signing "Thank you", and leaving the church. 

Grizz put his arm around me and pulled me close to his chest. He smelled like sweat and outside but nevertheless, comforting. I could tell that he was blaming himself for Emily's death but I knew that no matter what I said, I would never be able to take that burden away from him. 

Helena was the next to speak. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. My cup runneth over." She stroked the side of Emily's face with tears streaming down her face. Even though I wasn't religious, I knew that in Helena's mind, this was the best thing she could do for Emily in this moment. She went to Luke and he immediately pulled her into his arms, both feeling eachother's guilt and helplessness. 

I could feel Grizz begin to cry again but I said nothing, this wasn't the time. Eventually, people began to file out of the church one by one until we were the only ones left. 

"I feel bad just leaving her here," he said quietly, dropping his arms to his sides. 

"Nothing will happen to her," I said in an attempt to reassure him. 

"Still," he sighed. "No one should be alone."

"She's not alone." The words were coming out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Wherever she is now, she's got company. For all we know... we could already be dead." I knew that that probably wasn't the right thing to say but I simply couldn't stop myself. It was the only possible explanation I could come up with.

Grizz just continued to look at Emily's body and didn't say anything to me.

"Stay with me tonight?" I asked. "I don't think I'm ready to be alone either."

"Of course," he said picking up his bag kissing the top of my head. We walked together into the silent night of New Ham. 

~~~~~

We pulled into my driveway and walked into my house, Grizz locked the door behind him. 

"You don't have to do that, you know. There isn't anyone around to break in," I said as I started to walk up the stairs. Nothing sounded better than a hot shower and my bed right now.

"You never know," he gave me a warning glance. "I heard Campbell was firing a gun in the church earlier."

"I'm not surprised. I haven't lived here for very long but it sounds like something he would do. I just feel bad for Sam."

"His brother?" Grizz asked, following me up the stairs.

"Yeah. He has to live with the psycho."

We stopped in front of my bedroom and Grizz looked at me. 

"Umm," I said, trying to fill the silence. "You can shower in here, if you want. I'll leave some of my brother's clothes for you on the bed. I, uh, think they'll fit. I'm going to shower in my parent's room which is down the hall and on the right, in case you need anything."

"I think I'll be able to shower by myself," he said. "But thanks for the offer," he added with a smile. My heart was racing at a million beats an hour and I felt my cheeks start to burn bright red, a curse my mother gave to me.

"Okay then. Towels are in the closet," I said. 

I got him some sweatpants and a t-shirt from Cal's room and placed them on my bed. I could have sworn I heard Grizz singing in the shower but I decided I was too tired to stay and listen and went to shower in my parent's room.

This was the first time I had been in their room since I realized they could possible be gone in some mysterious place. All of their clothes were still put away neatly and their bed sat, unmade and untouched. Their toiletries were scattered around the bathroom and it looked like they should still be here, getting ready for bed with me. 

I tried to take a faster shower this time because I didn't want to have Grizz wait for me. I got out in record time and put on one of my dad's band shirts and my mom's shorts and crossed the hallway to get to my room where I stood outside of the door to try and hear whether or not the shower was still running or not. All I heard was silence so I knocked quietly. The last thing I wanted to do was walk in on something I wasn't supposed to see. 

"Come in," I heard Grizz say. He was staring at my photo wall. "Are these your friends from back home?"

"Yeah," I said walking over to him. "That one," I pointed to a girl with pink hair and beautiful dark skin, "Is my best friend Liv. I've known her since I was six. And that one" I pointed to a girl with flaming red hair and the bluest eyes you'd ever seen, "Is Ellie. She's also my best friend." I stared at the numerous photos we had together and felt the weight in my heart grow.

"Who's that?" He asked pointing to a photo of me and a boy.

"My ex boyfriend, Drew. That was from before we started dating though."

"How come you still have his photo up?" He asked me. He looked kind of offended.

"In all honesty, I have no idea. I guess I was just trying to hold on to every aspect of my old life as I could when I moved here. The only reason Drew and I broke up was because of the distance so I felt like one day we would get back together."

"Oh," Grizz said furrowing his brow and turning away.

"I don't feel like that anymore though," I said grabbing his arm. "I haven't felt that way in a long time if I'm being honest. We haven't talked in months."

"Do you miss him?" 

I thought for a moment, trying to think of the best way to explain how I felt about him. "I think I miss him in a way where I was trying so desperately to hold on to my old life because I was scared of being alone. My friends back home where the only thing I had ever known and when I came here, holding on to that hope of one day going back to the way things used to be made me just a little bit less sad.

"So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I missed him. But I don't think I do anymore... because you've given me a reason to move on." I smiled. 

Grizz turned around. "I did?"

"You were the first person here that didn't care that I was the new girl, or that my dad was famous, or that Harry was my cousin. You only cared about me. You were my first real friends and for some reason," I laughed, "the guy I end up having a big fat crush on."

"You have a crush on me," he smiled. He grabbed my hands and started flinging them around and sang, "You have a crush on me, you have a crush on me," in a sing-song voice.

"Yes I do!" I giggled, letting him have his fun while swinging me around.

"Well," he said, his tone serious. "That's a good thing. Because it just so happens that I have a big, fat, crush on you too." 

"Really?" I asked, feeling my cheeks start to hurt from how big I was smiling. Grizz put his hand behind my neck and started to bring my face to his. 

Leaning in, he said, "Really," before kissing me.


	11. Chapter 11

He pulled away slowly. I couldn't read his face and his eyes were filled with a million different emotions. He seemed hesitant, like he couldn't believe he just did that. 

"I have to be honest with you," he said. "I haven't felt this way about a girl in a long time, and it scares me." His eyes were staring straight into mine and his hand stayed on the back of my neck. His hands were soft, despite his years of football and so large it fit across the entire back of my head. 

"I haven't felt this way about anyone in a long time and to be honest, It scares me too." I admitting, smiling at him. I could see relief in his eyes. "So maybe we can just take things slow?"

"I think I'd like that," he said, leaning into kiss me again. His lips were soft and warm and I felt myself melt into him. He pulled away too soon and wrapped his arms around me. I never realized how tall he was until now, he was able to rest his chin on the top of my head and I wasn't even considered above average in height.

"I didn't realize how I tired I was until now," I yawned into his chest.

He laughed and pulled me to my bed, laying down and let me lay on top of him. "Consider me your personal body pillow," he breathed into my hair. 

"Goodnight Grizz," I whispered and laid my head down on his chest. Slowly, with the thoughts of today still running through my mind, I drifted off to sleep. It's hard to believe that it was only this morning that we were on a mission to walk through the woods to try and find civilization.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the next ten days, everyone carried about as normal, or as normal as they could be. We constantly tried to think of new ways of how we ended up here and if there was any chance of getting back to where we came from, but we always came up empty handed. Slowly, people began to lose hope that the trains would run through through or that an airplane would pass. 

For ten days, Grizz and I spent all our time together, spending every night at my house and spending the days with what I considered to be my new group of friends. At night, we'd come back to my house and make dinner, then we'd fall asleep watching a movie or one of us would read from one of the many books lining the shelves of my father's office. 

On the tenth day, Grizz and I were sitting in the gazebo on the green, watching Lexi and her pagan companions ask the heavens for a sign on what they should do and other various questions of that variety. It was beautiful outside, the sun was shining and the breeze was cool, the day seemed almost perfect. I had taken up perch on the railing, swinging my legs while Grizz stood next to me. 

"Useless" Helena shook her head and looked at the group. I didn't have the heart to tell her that her blind faith in religion would get us any further than Lexi would. 

Cassandra kept her focus on the group and said, "Never would have pegged Lexi as a conduit to the heavens."

"You have to admit," Allie began, "they're fair consequences given the circumstances." Cassandra just nodded and continued to look at the group. I rested my head on Grizz's shoulder and looked at the rest of the people surrounding us. There was a group behind us, drinking and laughing, and Harry and Campbell were a few paces over, talking about a game of Fugitive.

"Hey," I said, looking up at Grizz who seemed to be lost in his own world. I couldn't blame him, all we had time to do these days was think about our lives. 

"What's up?" He asked, snapping back to reality.

"Want to play fugitive tonight?" I asked.

"Really? You want to play fugitive?" He asked surprised. Every other time there's been a game going on, I've always declined to go, it wasn't really my style. But to be honest, I was getting sick of being stuck in a routine, it was making me feel weak and helpless.

"Why not? It sounds like fun." 

"Okay, if you want to," He laughed.

All of a sudden, the sky began to darken, in the absence of clouds, no one had any idea where this could be coming from. Looking to the sun, I saw that we were in the midst of a complete solar eclipse. 

"We asked for a sign!" Lexi said. I looked to the group and saw them all sigh, Lexi was really gripping at nothing. 

"But what does it mean?" One of her followers asked.

"It doesn't mean anything!" Gordie yelled. "It's a fucking solar eclipse! It's not a sign, it's a predictable astronomical event." Everyone looked around as if they didn't believe him. "Just don't stare at it, and we'll be fine." 

I looked back at Grizz, who was in fact, staring directly at the sun. "I didn't know we were supposed to be having a solar eclipse." 

"Me either, but..." He trailed off.

"You think we would have hard about it on the news before we left or something," I said, covering my eyes with my hand to try and get a look at the eclipse.

"Yeah," he said quietly. 

"We're going to have breakfast at our house," Allie said. "If you guys want to come," she looked at Grizz and I.

"I think I'm going to the football field with the guys," Grizz said to me. "If that's okay."

"Of course that's okay. They're your friends, go have fun," I smiled and nudged him. He smiled up at me and he met up with Clarke and the two of them began the walk to the high school football field. 

"I'll come," I said to Allie. Cassandra, Allie, Gordie and I walked to the Pressman residence where we met up with Sam, Becca and Bean. 

I started the coffee maker and Allie made eggs. We all sat around in silence for a while before Cassandra said, "They can't actually believe they can move the planets and the stars."

"It makes them feel better," Allie explained. "Doesn't have to do more than that."

"I agree," I said. "People will go to crazy lengths to cope with trauma. At least their way is peaceful." Everyone nodded in agreement.

"I hope it works for them," Bean said. "I'd like to find a way to feel better." She rested her head in her hands and looked out the back windows. 

"I like the coffee. The eggs too. I feel better already," Sam said. Even in a moment like this, where we were talking about the most depressing shit in the world, Sam manages to be optimistic. 

"All right, uh, we're headed back to town hall to see what's hidden in those files," Becca said, signing along so Sam could follow. They went a few days ago to try and find some information regarding the smell and the disappearance. "Maybe we can find out why this place is exactly like home except with no parents and no smell." For some reason I didn't expect they would get much out of going but I stayed silent.

"Maybe it was our parents who stank," Allie laughed. 

Cassandra joined in and said, "Yeah yeah yeah, that would explain it."

"A parallel universe," Gordie whispered. We all looked at him, awaiting an explanation. "Uh... a parallel universe," he tried to sign for Sam. "Or maybe, I don't know."

The sound of the front door opening and closing echoed off the walls and I could hear footsteps coming for the kitchen. Suddenly, Will's head popped up from around the corner. 

"Where have you been?" Allie asked as he sat down in a barstool and put his feet up on the counter, both with new shoes over them. 

"I've been scoping out a new house. That big place on Carlyle is empty," he said, looking very proud of his new find. 

"The Gerschenson's?" Cassandra asked. 

"Fuck if I know. It's mine now, oh plus," he said gesturing to his new shoes, "I got some new kicks."

Cassandra scoffed. "You can't do that." She sounded like a disapproving mother.

"Why not?" Will asked innocently. "My old heel's coming loose."

"You can't move into someone else's house," Cassandra explained. "Do you want to prove Harry's point? That we can just start taking things from each other?"

"That place is empty. It's nobody's house."

"Plus," I added, "That wasn't technically Harry's point. He said that we should be able to keep what's ours." Everyone looked at me, slightly shocked that I was defending the guy that invoked anarchy on the town.

"Anyways, it's easy for you guys to say, you're not fucking homeless," Will said angrily. 

"You're not homeless," Allie said offended. "This place is yours as much as it is ours."

"That's kind, without it really being true-"

"Will," Cassandra said sternly, as if to signal that he shouldn't go any further.

"Okay... I'll think about it." He sat back in his chair, defeated. 

"You're also welcome to come stay at my place any time you need. Any of you," I said, looking around at the group.

"Thanks but I think I'd rather save myself from having to watch you and Grizz be all lovey with each other," Becca laughed. 

"Come one! There's no way we're that bad," I said, throwing my napkin at her. 

"I swear this is the first time you guys have been apart in the past ten days," Allie said, filling up her mug with her second cup of coffee. 

"That is..." and suddenly I realized. "That is completely true." Everyone laughed at me and I felt my face burn bright red. 

"It's cute though," Becca said. "I can't remember the last time I saw Grizz have a crush on a girl."

"Me either, now that I think about it," Cassandra said. "Anyways, enough about Grizz. So we have all agreed that we need to check out the water and power plants."

"And figure out how much food we have, like a food census," Gordie added. 

"I can do that," Will volunteered. 

"Me too," said Allie, "together."

Becca looked around the room before saying, "Maybe we should be more low-key? Some people could freak out." I was pretty sure everyone knew exactly who she was talking about.

"No, no," Cassandra started, trying to take control of the situation. "There's no reason to freak out, we're just doing inventory." The room fell silent as we stole glances at each other. "No, no," she said again. "I'm the problem. I get their backs up. It's because I went too fast when we got here."

"No you didn't!" Allie said, trying to defend her sister.

"Yes I did, I obviously did."

"Even if that is true, someone had to. I'm glad it was you," I said to Cassandra. She gave me a weak smile that told me that she didn't really believe me, but she was thankful for the comment anyways.

After that, Allie and Will set off to the markets to count food, Sam and Becca left for the town hall, Bean and Gordie left and I said goodbye to Cassandra after helping her wash the dishes. 

It was only one o'clock and Grizz said he would probably be out until dinner time so I had to find something to do with my time for the next few hours.


	12. Chapter 12

I walked back to my house, sat on the couch and stared at the ceiling. Every five minutes or so, I would check the clock on the opposite wall and see that the hands seemed to move at half the speed they usually do so I'd check the clock on my phone which seemed to have the same issue. After doing this for about ten minutes I decided to make food, even though I just ate at Allie and Cassandra's, maybe it would take my mind off things. 

I opened the fridge to find it empty, realizing that Grizz and I made a mental note to go shopping later but we never did. I took this as an opportunity to make myself busy and go to the store to pick up things for the next week or so. I didn't really want to walk to the store, as the closest place was nearly five miles away. I didn't have a license because I never had to drive back in Seattle and if I did, someone would always come and get me. When I moved here, my parents dropped me off at school everyday and I would just take the bus home so I never felt the need to get it but what better time to learn how to drive than now?

I grabbed the keys to my dad's BMW and shoved myself into the front seat. I turned the keys into the ignition and felt the car hum to life and saw the entire dashboard light up. Thankfully, he filled up the tank with gas right before all of this happened so I wouldn't have to learn how to do that on my own either. My first challenge was going to be backing out of this driveway so I put the car in reverse, checked my rearview mirror and let off the brakes. The car started moving down the hill way too fast and I slammed my foot back on the breaks, causing the car to lurch forward and throw myself into the seatbelt. This time, I let off the breaks a little bit less and slowly inched my way down the driveway. As I got closer to the bottom, I began to turn the wheel, realized I was going to the wrong way, turned it the other way, and ended up in the middle of the street, facing the exact direction I was trying to go. 

I put the car in drive and sat there in the middle of the street before gathering up the courage to let off the breaks and ever so slightly, push on the gas pedals and let the car take me. Thankfully, the streets were deserted so I didn't have to worry about seriously injuring anyone with my horrific driving. I don't think I ever let the car go over 35 miles per hour but I eventually got to where I needed to be so I found no issue with it.

When I got to the store, I grabbed a cart and started pushing through the isles, grabbing things I knew we needed to make meals and grabbing some more alcohol along the way. Drinking the wine from my parent's cellar was starting to get a little old. 

When I reached the pasta isle, I saw Kelly and Will sitting on the floor, counting and inputting the values into a computer. 

"Hey," Will said, barely looking away from Kelly. 

"Hi," I said unsure. I had never really had a solid conversation with Kelly and the only real thing I knew about her was that she was dating Harry.

"Hi," she said cheerfully. "I don't think we've ever officially met. I'm Kelly," she waved with a can of Prego pasta sauce in each hand. 

"I'm-"

"Valerie, I know" she laughed, she had a nice laugh. "You're Harry's cousin."

"You're Harry's cousin?" Will asked, finally taking a minute to look up from his computer.

"Yeah," I said looking down at the contents of my shopping cart. "I don't really advertise it."

"I don't blame you," Kelly said. "I don't think I would either." She gave me a smile that I was able to interpret as, 'I'm really sorry I didn't mean to expose you like that.' I decided that I liked her, and I could see why Harry was trying to always keep her around. 

The surrounding mood had changed drastically so I tried to change the subject. "How are you guys doing? With the food census, or whatever you called it?"

"We haven't gotten very far. We've been in the same isle for the past hour and we've only handled sauces." Kelly explained, gesturing to the big groups of pasta sauce scattered around the floor. "I'm not complaining though. It's not like there's something else I have to do. It keeps my mind off the fact that this is the longest I've gone without seeing my family."

Will looked at Kelly like that was the saddest story he's ever heard.

"I get that," I said. 

"At least you have Grizz," she added.

"You have Harry," I stated bluntly.

"We're not on good terms right now." She continued to stare at the label of the same Prego sauce jar.

"You guys are never on good terms," I said under my breath. She turned her head and gave me look. I couldn't tell what it was, maybe a mixture of sadness, a bit of anger? I excused myself and continued to wind up and down the isles, picking up things we could use to make meals and other essential things like soap and toothpaste. 

I finished in record time and shoved everything in to the back seat and drove myself back to my house, somehow ended up in one piece and brought in all the groceries by myself. In the middle of putting things away, I got a text from Grizz.

*

Going to stop by Helena's church sermon for a few. Will be back soon for dinner. xx

*

Even texts from him made my heart ache just a little bit and if I was being completely honest with myself, it scared me. I had never felt this way about a guy before, ever. Even with my ex boyfriend who I thought I would marry one day, I never got this feeling when he'd call or text. I was comfortable around him but there was no spark. I guess this is how it was always supposed to feel. 

I put the rest of my things away and decided to start getting dinner ready. Even though I consider myself and Grizz very capable cooks, most nights, we end up fighting for control of the kitchen, which usually ends up with him picking me up and putting me on the couch, sprinting back to the kitchen and finishing himself. 

Deciding on pasta, I boiled the water and added the noodles, and heated up canned vodka sauce. I turned on the speakers and shuffled my music, dancing to the songs and watching the water so it didn't boil over. I didn't even realize someone had gotten into my house until I felt arms wrap around me and someone whisper in my ear, "I've missed you."


	13. Chapter 13

"I've missed you," a familiar voice breathed into my ear. 

"I missed you too," I whispered, giving the trespasser a kiss on the lips. He tasted like sweat and whiskey, but I relished in it. 

He smiled down at me, brushing stay hairs away from my face. "What are you making?" Grizz asked, staring at the two pots I had going on the stove. 

"Pasta with vodka sauce," I responded. "And it's almost done so there's no need to push me to the living room." He laughed and buried his face into my neck and breathed in deeply. We continued to sway silently to the sound of Holocene by Bon Iver until the timer for the noodles went off. 

We ate dinner on the couch like we did every night while Grizz detailed Helena's sermon. 

"Religion is so strange," he added at the end. 

"Why's that?" I asked, shoving another spoonful of pasta into my mouth. 

"If God is real, and this place is, a parallel universe or whatever, than that means that God put us here. And if God put us here that means he did it for a reason." He paused and looked me in the eye. "I guess I just don't understand the reasoning behind it."

"Punishment?" I suggested. 

"But what did we do? What could we have done to deserve this?"

I shrugged, taking a bite of the pasta. "Maybe we haven't done anything wrong. Maybe we're being saved."

"Then why are we here? How did we even get here in the first place? How did the bus drivers leave?" I knew at that point, Grizz was just asking mindless questions in order to put all his thoughts in order. This was a common occurrence during dinner.

"I wish I could give you an answer, Grizz, I really do. But I don't have one. Neither does Helena and neither does God." He fell silent and twirled his spoon in his empty bowl. "I know you want answers and I'm sorry I can't give them to you."

"I know," he whispered. We finished dinner and washed the dishes in silence. I could tell that he was still feeling off about our conversation earlier but I kept my mouth shut. I had said what I said and there was no way to take it back. Eventually, the silence took hold me and I had to say something.

"I didn't mean to come off that harsh," I said. "Earlier. When we were talking about God."

"I know," he smiled. "I'm not mad at you, I've just been thinking." Great. Leave it to me to overthink the entire situation and still make it about me. 

"About what?" I said, turning my back so he couldn't see my face flush with embarrassment. 

"This place. God. I didn't realize how lost I got. I mean, it's already sundown. We should head for the green soon." 

We got into his car and drive the short way to the courtyard in front of the high school, where the parking lot was filled with people and cars, waiting to play cops and fugitives. 

We all stood together, Grizz walking over to talk to the guys and me leaning against the car.

"You came?" A surprised voice said, interrupting my thoughts. It was Harry.

"Yeah. Grizz too," I said, looking over to him standing with his friends, shoving and laughing together. It makes me think that this whole time he's been with me, had I been keeping him from this?

"I must say, I am surprised," Harry said, putting his hand to his chest to fake astonishment. 

"Why is that?" I said, a slight challenge in my voice. "Am I not allowed to have fun?"

"I never said that," he said. "I'm just surprised that you were able to pull yourself away from that little world you created with your boyfriend and that group of people you call friends."

"They are my friends, at least, more than you are."

He looked taken aback at my statement, but he kept trying to fight back. "Friends that you agree with? Counting food and sharing houses?" Now I see what the problem is. 

"You found Will and Kelly in the store counting food, didn't you?"

"That has nothing to do with this."

"Really? Because I feel like it has everything to do with this." He looked hurt but I continued to push. "I talked to Kelly earlier and it seems like you guys are in a bit of a rough patch."

He glared at me and stayed silent for a minute. "You can't expect everything to be sunshine and rainbows after shit like this happens," he says in an attempt to defend himself.

"Are you sure it's this place that's ruining your relationship? Maybe it's just you."

"That's easy for you to say, Valerie. All you do it fuck off in your mansion with your little boyfriend. You both pretend like everything is fine while you make dinners and sleep together, like you're a little family or something." For once, I was at a loss for words and it seems like Harry knew exactly why. "Wait a minute," he paused, laughing. "You guys haven't had sex yet, have you?"

"That's none of your business," I muttered. The truth is, we haven't. Normally, I wouldn't think it was weird, considering we had only been seeing each other for ten days and we didn't even call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. But you'd think, when all you do is hang out together all the time and sleep in the same bed every night...

"That's not surprising," he said. "You definitely seemed like the kind of girl that wouldn't put out. I also wouldn't be surprised if you and your boyfriend start to have relationship problems just like Kelly and me." He smirked and knew that he had won that battle. I stood there like an idiot, mouth slightly open and face flushed a deep red color. 

Thankfully, Grizz came over to save the day, putting his arm around my shoulder and giving Harry a slight nod. I knew that Grizz wasn't the biggest fan of Harry, and Harry took the hint and walked towards the front of the crowd, ready to start the game.

"You okay?" Grizz whispered in my ear. I nodded my head but kept my eyes face forward, scared that he could see that I was lying. 

"Okay, okay we're gonna-" Harry's voice rang through the crowd. "Hello? Hey!" He yelled, gathering the control he craved. "Okay. We're gonna wait a few minutes before we divide up sides, see who else shows up, so just... hang out."

I leaned up against Grizz, still nerved from what Harry said just a few minutes ago. Grizz ran his fingers up and down my arm, causing my entire body to erupt in goosebumps. Thankfully, I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and jeans, but I still wondered if he knew what he did to me. If he knew that everytime he touched me I shivered or that the reason I always had to be right next to him was because everywhere else felt just a little bit colder. I looked up at his face as he was staring off into the sky and decided that he had no idea. Maybe his thoughts were just too full of a way to get out of here. He looked around and pulled me over to a girl standing in the back by herself.

"Hey, you playing?" he asked. She looked at him like she couldn't believe he was even speaking to her, either out of disgust or just the fact that she wasn't used to people paying attention to her in the first place. 

"No," she said, looking down at her feet. "No I don't think so." 

"Why not?" He asked. One of the many things I appreciated about him was how he cared so much about other people. He wasn't trying to make small talk with this girl, he actually cared and it amazed me.

Her blonde hair blew in the wind and she looked the two of us up and down before replying, "I'm not really in the mood for games."

"Yeah, well um... everyone's scared, you know." He looked down at me and then back at the girl. "This makes it better. Temporarily anyways."

She looked over the crowd and then back at her feet. I thought she wasn't going to say anything but she did. "I was the kid that cried on the first day of school, like every year," she laughed lightly. "So it takes me a while to get used to things." She paused and took a second to look up at the sky before continuing, "I keep thinking that God's punishing me."

"Why do you think it's about you?" I asked. 

"I don't know," she said. She pulled on her thumbs and looked me in the eye. "I just do." And I understood exactly what she meant. 

After a few moments of silence, Grizz took over the conversation again. "There's this like from a play I like. It goes, 'I don't think God punishes people for specific things, I think he punishes them in general for no reason. That's life right? We make the most of it." 

A police siren interrupted us as Clark pulled up in a cop car. Grizz laughed and went up to his friend, slapping him on the back as they marveled at the stolen vehicle.

"Take it from someone who thought the whole world hated her up until about a week ago," I said to the girl, "change is scary, especially when it wasn't what you wanted or it happened unexpectedly. All it takes is one person to make you feel valid and suddenly you realize the world doesn't revolve around you."

She looked at me with curiosity, maybe because she had no idea who I was, or maybe it was because I was silent during most of our initial interaction and I suddenly word vomited some philosophical shit. 

"Maybe you're right," she said. "Maybe I just have to find my person. It seems like you already have," she said, looking at Grizz wave me over. 

"Yeah," I smiled at her, "I guess I have." 

"I'm Elle, by the way," she stuck out her had. I shook it and told her my name, to which she smiled. 

"You should play. I mean, why not? It's not like you have anything better to do," I said, making my way towards Grizz and the guys. She just shrugged her shoulders and looked back down at the ground. 

"Okay, okay!" Harry's voice echoed. He was stationed on the top of someone's car. "We're gonna divide up. Half us us a fugitives, you know you who are, and the rest are cops" he explained. "Fugitives are on foot and cops are in cars. Safety is the church, jail is the gazebo on the green. Fugitives, you'll have three minutes to make a run for it. The whole fucking town is fair game!" He shouted, which earned him a good amount of cheers from the bustling crowd. 

"You ready?" Grizz asked me, raising his eyebrows. I decided to be a fugitive, and he was going to be a cop, meaning it was his job to find me and take me to jail. 

"Fugitives," Harry yelled. "Your three minutes starts now!" Everyone took off running through the town.

"Come and find me, copper," I said, kissing Grizz on the mouth and sprinting off to join the others.


	14. Chapter 14

The cool night air whipped at my face as I continued to run through town. The lights from the streetlamps reflected off the wet streets and puddles from the slight drizzle that was coming down. I could hear the police sirens go off, meaning our three minutes was up and the cops would be coming down the street any second. 

I picked up speed as I passed main street and hit the houses. I weaved through backyards and hid behind bushes. I heard a horn blare from the street directly to my right, meaning someone was caught. I crouched down low and continued to dart between houses, trying to find the perfect hiding spot. I crouched behind a tree and waited, listening for even the smallest amount of movement. After a few minutes, I decided that the coast was clear and made a run for the next house over, determined to make it to their front porch. 

BAM!

I was tackled to the ground. With the wind knocked out of me, I looked up to see Grizz, panting and laughing, arms still wrapped around my waist. 

"You run," he heaved, "so goddamn fast."

After sucking in cool air, I started to laugh with him. Even though I was mad I didn't make it very far, I was glad he was the one to catch me. 

"So..." I smirked. "Are you gonna take me to jail Mr. Police officer?" I gave him my best pouty face and shoved my hands in his face. 

"Get a room you two," Clark yelled from the cop car. 

"Hey! Fuck off man!" Grizz yelled. "We'll meet you back at Harry's." Clark didn't hesitate before driving off to try and get more fugitives. "Now, you've been a very bad girl," Grizz said, grabbing both of my hand and pinning my arms down. 

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?" I whispered, reaching my head up towards his, our lips only millimeters apart. He closed the gap and kissed me hard. Pushing his entire body into mine as we fell back onto the wet ground. Normally I would complain but in this moment, nothing else matter to me other than this boy. 

He picked his head up and kissed my cheek and worked his way down to my neck, where I felt him suck, I knew that was going to leave a mark. "Do you know where we are right now?" He whispered into my ear.

"Hmmm?" I hummed, my eyes still closed as he kissed my neck again. 

"This is the backyard to my house." He gave me a look that said, 'let's go inside."

"Does this mean I'm finally going to see your bedroom?"

"Only after I'm finished with you," he said, jumping up and picking me up bridal style. We laughed as he unlocked the front door and carried me all the way up the stairs. 

Once we got to his room, he threw me on the bed and took of shirt. He leaned down and started to kiss my neck again, working his way down until he reached the collar of my shirt. He looked at me for permission to take my shirt off to which I nodded feverently. I wanted to feel his body on mine, his warm skin on mine. He kissed my entire body, showering me with compliments before taking off my jeans and staring at my body.

"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen," he said, his entire face lit up like a boy who just received everything he ever wanted for Christmas. I was glad the lights were off because I knew my entire face was burning bright red. After that, he took off the rest of his clothes and positioned himself on top of me, continuing to make me feel like I was the only girl he had ever had eyes for, like I was the only thing that mattered. 

Finally, it came to the part where he looked me dead in the eyes and asked, "Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes," I responded breathlessly. "Are you?"

He smiled, leaning down to kiss me. "I have never wanted anything more."


	15. Chapter 15

I laid in Grizz's bed, wrapped in his arms, staring at his beautiful face. There was nothing I wouldn't give to freeze this moment in time and live in it forever. 

"What are you looking at?" He asked, sweat lining his upper lip and the corners of his mouth slightly turned up into a teasing smile. 

"You," I replied, not breaking eye contact in fear of losing what we had right here. He just smiled at me and and looked back at the ceiling. I laid my head on his bare chest and closed my eyes, focusing on his rhythmic breathing. 

"Do you think we should leave soon?" He asked. 

"I don't think I want to," I whispered. 

"I don't want to either but I'm kind of worried of what will happen if you and I aren't there." He was running his fingers through my hair. 

"I think you're right. Between that entire group they probably have a combined total of three functional brain cells," I laughed. He laughed along with me and then we both fell silent, draining this moment of everything it had, waiting until the last possible moment to get up and leave our little haven. 

I was the first one to make an effort of leaving. I wrapped myself in Grizz's flat sheet and walked around his room, picking up the various articles of clothing I had strewn about the floor. I looked back at him before I went to his bathroom. He just sat there, arms behind his head, stuck in a daze staring directly at me. 

"Take a photo," I said, "I know you want to savor this moment." And that's exactly what he did. I did a little pose in the door frame, bra still in hand and wrapped in a gray polka dotted sheet. 

After I changed, I waited in the bedroom for Grizz and I finally got a good look at his decorations. My eyes fell on the bookshelf next to his window, which held multiple photos of him with his parents or the guys, all in his football uniform. Below, he had crowded shelves of books, a few of which included Pride and Prejudice, The Odyssey, The Lovely Bones, and to my surprise, all of the Twilight novels. I ran my finger over the spine of the obviously most read book. There was no title on the cover that I could see so I pulled it off and looked through at the title page, The Glass Menagerie. 

"What are you looking at?" I jumped at the sound of his voice, even though I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong. 

"The Glass Menagerie," I read outloud. "What's it about?" 

"You've never read it?" He asked surprised. "It's one of my favorite books of all time." He came up behind me and gently took the book from my hands. "It's about a girl who is really shy and her mother pressures her into getting a husband and when a gentleman finally comes home with her older brother, she starts to have feelings for him but just like that, he leaves."

"Sounds depressing," I said.

"It is," he paused, "in a way. It's also really sweet," he said, smiling down at the book as if remembering all the times he's read it. "Here," he said, placing the book back into my hands. "Read it and let me know what you think." 

I don't know why and I wish I could explain it, but in that moment, my heart surged in a way I had never experienced before. When I look back, I think... actually I know, this was the moment I realized I had fallen in love with Grizz. This specific moment in time, him giving me the book he obviously cherished more out of any of the others, made me fall so desperately in love with him that I would never be able to escape it. We were only together for ten days, but it was ten days of the most perfect man I had ever met. They always say when you know, you know, and it's true.

I turned the book over in my hands and saw Gareth Visser, written in the top left corner of the back cover.

"Your real name is Gareth?" I asked. 

"Yes," he said, his face turning a shade of hot pink. "Now you know why I go by Grizz."

"I think it's cute. It has character." I tried to make him feel better and I think it worked a little bit. I placed the book gently in my bag and the two of us headed out to Grizz's car to go to Harry's house. 

The drive took a little longer than usual as Grizz lived on the opposite side of town from Harry and I and by the time we got to Harry's house, the party was in full swing. Thunder rumbled in the distance and the air had a slight heaviness to it, indicating a thunderstorm was approaching. 

"Do you have an extra sweatshirt by any chance?" The late fall nights mixed with the high humidity was causing it to feel a lot colder than it did earlier. 

Grizz reached into the backseat and pulled out a brown zip up jacket. "How about this?" 

"Perfect," I said, giving him a swift kiss before leaping out of the car and putting the jacket on. I didn't consider myself short, probably 5'5 at best, but Grizz's jacket made me seem like a midget. It reached my knees and the sleeves hung down at least four inches past my finger tips. I wasn't complaining, I was definitely warmer and it smelled just like him, however, I know I looked like a little kid. 

We joined Clark, Jason, and Luke and their girlfriends by the pool. Harry and Allie soon joined, sitting by themselves on the ground. As Grizz continued his conversation with Jason about some sport thing, I began to eavesdrop on Harry and Allie. 

They were talking about nonsense, just trying to fill the silence, a common tactic of people who weren't comfortable enough with each other. Then, they started talking about their childhoods. Allie called herself a dork and Harry told her that she was just peculiar, causing her face to turn pink, and then the most unexpected thing happened. 

Harry leaned in and kissed her and she let him for a second, before pulling away and looking at her feet. I wasn't one to interfere in other people's business so I kept on being a silent bystander, feeling the secondhand embarrassment from Harry as Allie rejected him.

But then, Allie smiled. "What was that?" she asked him.

"I don't know," he whispered, staring at the water. They fell silent for a moment. "I just didn't know you," Harry said, looking up at Allie's smiling face. "Like at all."

Thunder rumbled overhead loud and overbearing. The people in the pool seemed to notice and everyone began to make their way inside. 

"We should go," Harry said.

"We should go inside," Allie said. And I knew exactly what she meant. The two of them walked, hand in hand towards Harry's house, and then up the stairs to Harry's bedroom.

"Grizz," I said shaking his arm. "You'll never guess what just happened," and then I was interrupted by the sudden downpour of rain. Within seconds, my hair was sticking to my face and my shoes were sopping wet. Thankfully, Grizz's jacket held up and kept my insides warm. He grabbed my hand the two of us began to run to Harry's house but just before we got inside, Grizz stopped, brushed the water off my face, and kissed me. The moment our lips met, the world outside was lit up by an incredible display of lightning. 

"What was that?" I asked him, the rain still coming down full force.

"I've seen the notebook more times than I care to admit," he smiled. "There was no way I was going to pass up the opportunity to fulfill the most romantic scene ever shown on screen." Again, my face was red but I no longer tried to hide it, he deserved to know how he made me feel. 

We joined the people in the kitchen, half were dry, lucky to make it inside before it started to rain and the other half, in the same position as Grizz and I, stood dripping on Harry's marble floors. 

"What were you going to tell me earlier? Before the rain?" Grizz asked. 

I leaned down to his ear and whispered, "Allie and Harry are having sex right now." The amount of money I would pay to see the shock on his face again when he realized that he did in fact, hear me correctly. The amount of money I would pay to go back in time to when this was the only thing that mattered.


	16. Chapter 16

The group of us watched the storm rage on outside. Grizz positioned himself on top of the counter and pulled me into him so I was between his legs and his head rested on my shoulder as we stayed in conversation with Jason and Erika. 

"And then-" Jason's story was interrupted by the lights flickering. A hush fell over the crowd as everyone looked to their friends. It happened again and this time, it took the lights a few seconds to come back on which caused the reappearance of Harry and Allie, both sporting wrinkled clothes and tousled hair. The lights went out again and I could feel Grizz tapping his fingers, counting the seconds until the lights came back on.

"Six," he whispered to himself when they finally came back on.

"Hey, what happens when they go out for good?" Clark's girlfriend, Gwen asked. "Who fixes them?" She looked around, expecting someone to answer. "I'm serious! Who turns them back on?"

"Maybe they never go back on," whispered Grizz, only audible enough for me to hear. I could see in his face that he was worried so I leaned further back into him, grabbing onto his hand and rubbing small circles onto his palm with my thumb. His body relaxed a little but I knew there was nothing I could do to calm the fear I knew was eating away at him: what actually would happen if the power went out and stayed like that? Where would we go to turn them back on? Was that even possible?

Jason was the first one to ask a meaningful question, surprisingly, and asked Harry if he had any flashlights. 

"I don't know, maybe somewhere," Harry replied in his usual arrogant tone. "What about iPhone ones?"

"Battery would never last," Jason said. "Plus if the power is out, how would we charge them?" 

"All right," Clark said, taking charge. "Expedition to the hardware store for flashlights. Who's in?" Just like that, the lights were out again and the only thing that allowed us to see was the occasional lightning bolt. Grizz's taps resumed and he got all the way to eight before the lights came on this time. 

"We should go home," said one of the girls, Olivia I think.. "Before it gets really bad, before the streetlights go out."

"You can all stay here, if you want" Harry offered. 

Interesting, what happened to, what's mine is mine?

Helena rolled her eyes before getting up and saying she was going home and with that, other girls and guys followed her, determined to brave the storm and either walk or drive back in the pouring rain. 

"Want to come with us to the hardware store?" Grizz asked. Not wanting to stay with Harry or go back to my house alone, I agreed and the five of us piled into Luke's sports car, me stuck in the backseat, squished between Clark and Jason. Making our way through town, I realized that we weren't the only ones who had the idea of grabbing flashlights from the only hardware store in West Ham.

A group of people had smashed the glass and were raiding the inside of the store and once the five of us ran through the rain and reached the store, we saw that it was empty. All of the valuable things had been taken, flashlights, lighters, generators and other things necessary to keep living.

I was trying to think of a plan, trying to remember if I had flashlights at my house but the next thing I knew, Jason was holding a guy by his collar and dragging him out of the store and throwing him down on the hard pavement. Punch after punch was thrown at the guy, who was probably a head shorter and fifty pounds lighter than Jason as he laid in the fetal position, trying to protect his internal organs and his face. 

"Grizz!" I yelled. "Stop them!" I looked to him, pleading that he would try and stop it. It took his mind a minute to register but he did pull Jason off the boy, who quickly scampered away. Without thinking, Jason threw a punch a Grizz, which caught him right on the side of his head, causing his whole body to be thrown backwards and hit the ground like dead weight.

"Stop!" I screamed, trying to break up the multiple fights outside the hardware store; everyone was trying to fend for themselves and gather all the necessary supplies they need to keep going. The rain was coming down harder than ever, making the ground slippery with rain and even a little blood. Someone ran into me, causing me to lose my footing and fall. I stuck out my hands to break the landing and immediately I was in searing pain; my hands had landed in broken glass. I realized the glass came from Luke's car window. People continued to run around, grabbing what they could. 

I felt a hand under my armpit, gently pulling me up from the pavement. I hissed in pain as pieces of glass dislodged themselves from my palms and fell back to the ground. I knew it was Grizz that pulled me up, I didn't have to look at him to know it but when I did I was shocked. A large bruise had already begun to form on the left side of his face where Jason stuck him, it was definitely going to turn into a black eye tomorrow. 

Before I could say anything, he said "I'm fine. It's not the first time I've been punched in the face, not even the first time I've been punched by Jason." I could tell he was in pain but no matter what I did, he wouldn't let me fuss over him. "You on the other hand," he said, taking my glass filled hands in his own, "are you going to need a lot more help." He started pulling me to an awning by the strip, where a single streetlight stood. He help my hands up to the light and stared at them, little pieces of glass and all. 

"I think I'll live," I said. 

"Does it hurt?" 

"Like a bitch." My hands were throbbing painfully and blood continued to drip down my arms. There were large pieces several inches deep into my palms with small ones scattered throughout. "Worse things could have happened. I'll be fine."

We were joined by Cassandra, Gordie and Will, who stood in silence watching the chaos unfold in front of the store. I spotted Harry and Allie making their way towards us, both huddled under Harry's jacket and smiling at each other and one look as Cassandra's face told me that she knew exactly what went down tonight, even if Allie would never tell her directly and for a moment, I thought the sun had begun to rise already, even though I knew it was impossible for seven hours to pass like this. I looked at the sky, expecting to find an answer there for why we were bathed in an orange light, but it wasn't the sun. It wasn't the streetlights or the lights coming from inside the stores either. 

Luke's car, the same one that drove me here, was on fire and less than two minutes later, it exploded. People continued to break into other stores surrounding us but we stood and watched the car burn and even though no one said it out loud, we all thought the same thing. Without change, without someone making plans or a decision, we were just going to go deeper and deeper in to complete and total anarchy.


	17. Chapter 17

Grizz spent the next few hours picking small and large shards of glass from my palms with nothing but a desk lamp and a pair of tweezers. Without anything to numb the pain but some extra strength ibuprofen, it was hell. By the end, there was blood all over my pants and Grizz's hands and I was starting to feel a little lightheaded. Grizz sighed and looked up at me. "I think I got everything," he said. "If I didn't, your body should naturally expel it on it's own but it will be a little uncomfortable." He sighed and held my hands in his. "There's probably going to be a lot of scarring."

"I figured." I was grateful that he was so gentle with me. As my mother was a nurse, this was something I could have done myself if at least one of my hands was unharmed but unfortunately, that wasn't the case. "Thank you," I said. Next was the worst part. I stood under the sink, warm water that felt like fire on my hands and soap that felt like new shards of glass on my raw skin. Grizz stood next to me, gently massaging the soap and water over my hands in an attempt to get them cleaned as best as he could; there wasn't anyone around to help me if my hands got infected. As if he was holding a newborn puppy, he wrapped my hands ever so carefully in gauze and bandages until I represented half a mummy. 

"That should hold up, and we'll change the bandages everyday and make sure we clean your cuts so they don't get infected." I just nodded, ready for the night to be over and to just lay in bed, held by the beautiful boy sitting in front of me. 

"You should put something on your eye," I suggested. His eye was swelling, and the bruise on his cheek was red and purple.

"I'll be fine, you have bigger things to worry about." I sighed and closed my eyes, I was in no mood to argue with him.

"Bedtime?" he asked. I nodded again and he picked me up bridal style and carried me up the stairs to his green bedroom to the bed with the polkadot sheets that I've grown to appreciate. 

~~~~~~~~

The next morning was rough because I was unable to do a lot of things on my own. Grizz had to wash my hair and body in the shower while I stood there, completely naked with plastic bags over my mummy hands and afterwards, he had to brush my teeth and do my hair. Even though we laughed about it, I knew this was going to be a long week until I was able to use my hands again. 

He had a prominent black eye but by the looks of it, nothing was broken and it would go away in a few days. I heard my phone buzz and asked Grizz to check it for me. "Cassandra says to meet at the church in twenty minutes, just you," he said, looking confused. 

"Interesting," I said. 

"Have any idea what it's about?" 

"Not a clue."

~~~~~~~~~

Grizz dropped me off at the church and then headed to play football with the guys or as I thought, brainstorm about what this meeting could be about.

I sat next to Becca who was immersed in a magazine from last month. 

"Hey-" she paused when she saw my hands. "Oh my god, what happened?"

"I got pushed and I fell into a pile of broken glass," I explained, holding up my two hands tightly bound in white bandages. The other girls in the church stared at me in curiosity and I put my hands in my lap, suddenly embarrassed of my injury. Elle was the next girl to walk through the door and without saying anything, she sat next to me.

"Hey," I said, getting her attention. "I didn't see you at Harry's last night, where'd you run off to?"

She smiled and looked at her hands, "Campbell's house."

"Campbell? Campbell Eliot? Sam's brother?" I asked, surprised. She nodded, her cheeks turning pink. "Oh." I left it there. I didn't trust Campbell, I never have. Based on the stories Sam has told me I was certain that boy was nothing but trouble.

Our attention was suddenly grabbed by a girl walk into the church in a plunging, bright green, floor length prom dress. "Was there a dress code we didn't know about?" Becca asked sarcastically.

"I paid $700 for this," she said with a scoff. "It's not like I'm going to be wearing it to prom." Prom. I had a slight twinge in my heart as I thought about the emerald green dress that was sitting in my closet, never to be worn at prom. Kelly and Gwen were the next to arrive, Kelly holding a box of tampons that she gifted to Helena. 

"Oh," Helena sighed, "you're a lifesaver. Someone must be hoarding these. There was none left at the drugstore."

"I try to ration," Kelly said. "I only have three boxes left." 

Again I let my mind wander. What are we going to do once we run out of pads and tampons? When girls run out of birth control and condoms? I thought about the IUD I had put in last year to help with my heavy flow and unbearable cramps. Would there be anyone around to take it out when my six years were up? 

My thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Cassandra and Allie, who made their way to the front and sat down with the group on the elevated stage.

Cassandra took a deep breath before she explained why she summoned every girl left in West Ham. "The boys we thought we knew destroyed those stores last night. If we don't do something, male testosterone is going to be the end of us."

"Is that why it's just girls here?" asked Helena.

Cassandra nodded. "Right now, it's just pillage. But how long until someone is raped walking home one night and no one gives a shit because that's just how it is?" We all stayed silent, thinking of the possibility of our world ending up like that. 

Gwen scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'm sorry no one wanted to date you in high school, Cassandra," she mocked. "But, this war on men feels a little extra."

To everyone's surprise, Kelly came to Cassandra's defense. "Shut the fuck up, Gwen," she said, disgust dripping from every syllable. The silence after rung loud as we looked at each other, my eyes straight at Kelly, to whom I gave a reassuring smile. 

"Everything that kept us safe is gone," Cassandra continued. "There isn't anyone to say no and when you stop hearing no, you begin to think you can do anything. Women aren't safe in a world that's run by brute force and stupidity." We nodded silently in agreement. "If we want peace," Cassandra paused, "we need order. And to get order, we need to exert our power." She looked to the group who again, nodded to show their approval. 

"How do you expect us to do that?" I asked. 

"Do what we do best. Do the one thing you know will drive the boys crazy," Cassandra said. 

"Hold out," Gwen said. 

"Exactly. Nothing persuades a guy more than a girl who won't give him what he wants."

With that, we all dispersed from the church. I decided to walk back to my house to grab a change of clothes, I figured the sunlight and the exercise would be good for me, considering my feet were the only limbs I was able to use. 

"Hey! Valerie," someone called. I turned around to see Kelly running towards me. 

"What's up?" I asked. 

"I have a question to ask you," she began, "and it might sound totally stupid-"

"I bet its not," I smiled. "What is it?"

"If I were to run it by Cassandra, and she approves," she smiled, "would you be down to helping me set up a prom?"

"A prom?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, I got the idea from that intense prom dress in there," she laughed. She had a pretty laugh and a pretty face. I could see exactly why Harry and Will are so taken with her, her caramel brown hair that reached her belly button and her pretty blue eyes were enough to grab anyone's attention. "I decided to ask you first because Grizz was on the committee with Gwen and I when we were still home," she stopped, realizing she was touching on a sensitive subject. "Anyways, I know you guys spend a lot of time together and I just thought I'd run it by you."

"You want to see if I'd be able to convince Grizz to help out? I'm pretty sure he would have done it even if you asked him," I said. She seemed taken aback by this statement so she just smiled. 

"So, is that a yes?"

"Yes, of course." She gave a little jump before turning around and half skipping her way to Cassandra's house to tell her about her little scheme.


	18. Chapter 18

Over the next few days, nearly all the women in West Ham had convinced their male counterparts to agree with the socialism construct of sharing and exactly one week from the all female meeting Cassandra originally organized, she called again for an entire town meeting. 

Grizz and I sat towards the front with the guys and their girlfriends, patiently waiting to hear what Cassandra had to say, even though a majority of people already had an idea. Cassandra took her post at the front of the church and with her authoritative aura, she was able to quiet the whole church with a single look. 

"We need to know what we have," she began, "and what we're at risk of running out of. So," she took a deep breath, "there will be an accounting of resources. Once we get a handle on that, we'll begin to ration the food, eating meals together in the cafeteria." This statement earned a low whisper and people's heads turing to make sure they heard right.

"We'll also share houses," Cassandra continued. "Just in case water and electricity are in limited supply, which, at this point, we don't know. But, it's better to be safe because if we run out, we don't have a solution." She looked down at her notes, giving her audience a second to process this information before continuing her speech. 

"No one will do this alone," she prefaced. "We will have rotating work lists, that way, everyone contributes the same and this includes the decision-making. It'll be by committee. Finally, we're going to put together a going home committee," she nodded to Gordie and Bean. "This way, we can formally investigate how we got here and how we are going to get back." 

Cassandra took another deep breath, trying to read the room. Some people had begun to look agitated, frustrated, or numb but she went on with her prepared speech. "Adopting this new way of living doesn't mean we're giving up. It means we're smart and prepared. That's the plan." She gave her audience the best leadership smile she could which produced a lot of smiles in return. "I think we should vote!" She said. "All in favor, raise your hands."

Immediately, tens of hands went up, mine and Grizz's included. Slowly, more and more hands went up until there were only a few people left who stared at the floor. "I don't think we can do this unless it's unanimous." Everyone turned around and stared at the people who had yet to raise their hands, Harry being one of them. After a few seconds of tense silence, every hand in the church was raised in agreement. The church erupted into a scattered applause and people began to file out. 

"Do you think she can actually pull this off?" Clark asked. 

"I do," I said. It was true, I had every confidence that Cassandra could run this town and prevent us from falling into chaos. Clark and Jason just looked at each other before leaving, still not entirely convinced. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Harry making his way out of the church, quickly followed by Cassandra, a recipe for bad news. 

"I'll be right back," I said to Grizz, trying to push my way through the dense crowd. When I finally got to the front, I saw Cassandra had already cornered Harry.

"I want your point of view on things!" she said, still in a slight jog behind him.

"No," Harry said, turning around and getting in Cassandra's face. "You want me where you can fucking see me." 

"Harry," I said, out of breath from running to catch up with him. He looked at me before setting off again. I glanced at Cassandra before continuing to get Harry's attention. "Harry!" I yelled, thankfully this time he stopped, just before he was about to get into his car. 

"What do you want, Valerie?" annoyance dripping from his words.

"I haven't seen you in a minute," I said, trying to be civil. "You look like you've seen better days."

"So have you," he said, gesturing to my still bandaged hands. Since the cuts were on a part of my body I kept on moving, they continued to open up and bleed. "What even happened?"

"Fell on some glass." 

"Damn," he said. An awkward silence settled over us. 

"So are you going to prom?" I asked, trying to make light conversation.

He scoffed. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know what you-"

"We're not friends, Valerie. You've made that pretty clear these past few weeks."

"Exactly, Harry. We're not friends but we are family, the only family either of us has at this point." His expression softened slightly. "I wanted to clear the air between us. It won't do either of us any good if we continue to fight." 

"Consider the air cleared and this conversation over," Harry said, climbing into the front of his porsche and speeding out of the parking lot.


	19. Chapter 19

The next week went by excruciatingly slow for me. Since my hands were still on the mend, I wasn't able to participate in much and Grizz was part of the guard, or the makeshift military composed entirely of football players. He wasn't home often and with nothing to do except go insane, Bean gave me the job of helping her find music they could play at prom. Since everything was stored in the cloud, we could only play music from albums and vinyls, which my dad had a plethora of. 

I stood in front of the basement door, key in hand. I hadn't gone down there since everything happened. Maybe it was a force of habit, dad always told us that we weren't allowed down there unless he said we could but even though it was impossible to attain permission to enter his studio, I still felt like I was betraying his trust. I plucked up all the courage I had in me and unlocked the basement door and headed down the spiral staircase. 

Below, was my father's recording studio, complete with recording booth large enough to hold drums, a piano and various other instruments my siblings and I had managed to play over the years. On the other side of the basement stood my dad's record player and his many shelves full of records, all organized from A-Z and genre.

I couldn't tell if it was real or if I was going crazy but it still smelled like my father, like he had just been down here writing and recording ideas for his new album like he usually did. Everything was exactly in its place and it even seemed like some notes he wrote last minute were still here. 

Making my way over to the records, I decided to play the one already in the record player and from it came a voice so soft and smooth, I completely broke down. Maybe it was being in my father's space, or seeing his records or hearing his voice for the first time in weeks but there I was, on all fours scream crying into the plush rug with my father's voice playing in the background. 

After a few minutes of this, I finally composed myself enough to sit up, my father's voice still echoing in the background. 

Do you ever think, about how things turn out?

When we locked eyes from afar

I knew in that moment

I fell for the girl in the bar

Her hair like the sun

With golden eyes to match

Lord, we had so much fun

Ma, she's such a catch

Now here we are, a family of three

Our friends and family gathered on our wedding day

I'll make it big one day, you'll see

I'll provide for you one day

I could spend the rest of my life with you

Wrapped in your warmth

But even being with you till my dying breath

Will never be enough

Will never be enough for me

The song looped again, starting from the beginning which brought a fresh new wave of tears but this time, I had company.

"Val, what's wrong?" I heard a soft voice call. I didn't get up, I didn't think I had it in me. I felt Grizz's hand on my shoulder as he kneeled next to me, pulling me into him. 

"He wrote this song for my mom," I said, hot tears coming down like rivers. "The day they got married he sang it front everyone," I sniffled and rubbed away the snot that was coming out of my nose with my sleeve. "Apparently my mom was crying so hard she threw up," I laughed lightly. My mother. I never thought I would miss her nagging me to make friends or to clean my room.

For a while, Grizz just sat there, holding me, rocking me back and forth until the song looped again and he got up to take the record out. 

"Turn it over," I said, wanting to hear the B side song. 

I took Grizz's hand and began to lead him in a slow dance around the basement: my head on his chest and his arms wrapped around my waist, we rocked back and forth to the sound of my father singing April, the song of him falling in love with my mother.

"What if this is the only way I'll ever be able to hear my father's voice again?" I whispered into Grizz.

"I hope it's not," he mumbled into my hair. "I think about that a lot. Never being being able to hear my parent's voices again. Some days I think I've already forgotten what they sounded like." 

April makes us eager  
Old ideas flow back and find new ground  
We're so pleased to see you  
I work real hard to make you good again

"I think that too," I said. "I think about my sister a lot. About how she's doing. Sometimes I wonder if our family even knows we're gone."

Pretty girl in the busy room  
You don't know why but she bothers you  
Father walks his two kids to school  
Holding hands down Bellevue avenue

"I think they do," said Grizz, his voice deep with sadness. "It's the only thing that keeps me going besides you most days. Thinking about how I can get back to them."

Let's take a stroll  
And watch the boats sink  
And all that once was sad becomes so beautiful  
We found love for everything  
And in the wonder of this fling  
Forget that hope's a persuasive thing  
Hope's a persuasive thing

My heart tingled when he said I kept him going. "I was going to take my sister to prom," I whispered, new tears pricking at the backs of my eyes. "She was a freshman so she couldn't go unless an upperclassman asked her, so I did. I couldn't think of going to prom alone."

Spend the summer in the fever  
Now all doubts knock you right back down  
And I don't wake up in the mornings anymore  
No I don't fill my days with things I've heard about

"I wasn't even going to prom," Grizz said. I wasn't surprised. 

Pretty girl in the busy room  
You don't know why but she bothers you  
Father walks his two kids to school  
Holding hands down Bellevue avenue

"Do you ever think about how we never would have met if it wasn't for this?" I ask. 

"That's not ture," he said. "We met at the play."

"But we never would have talked after that. We didn't have any classes together and we both know I never would have been the one to speak up, no matter how cute I thought you were."

"I guess you're right. I would have just seen you at graduation, as the pretty girl I saw at the play one time."

"And then I would have gone to Julliard," I said. It's weird to say that out loud, knowing that this dream that I once had was so far out of my grasp. 

"I would have gone to Stanford."

"Opposite sides of the country. You never would have even known I existed." I was crying now. I knew why. 

Let's take a stroll  
And watch the boats sink  
And all that once was sad becomes so beautiful now

"I'm glad I met you though. I'm glad you got so drunk and I found you in between church choir pews and walked you home."

"I'm glad too," my voice breaking. 

We found love for everything  
And in the wonder of this fling  
Forget that hope's a persuasive thing  
Hope's a persuasive thing

"This is me," I said, referring to the violin in the background. "I played this track when I was seven years old and my father re-recorded this song with my playing in the background." Grizz gave a shuddering breath. "I love you," I said. My heart stopped. 

"I love you," he whispered, tilting my face up to his and kissing me on the lips. "I love you so much." I could see tears in his eyes and the violin echoed around the room.


End file.
